What Moses learned from the Patriarch Jacob
Moshe rebuked them only a short while before his death. From whom did he learn this? From Yaakov. Why did Yaakov wait to rebuke his sons?
We read in our Parasha:(1:3), Devarim: ’It was in the fourtieth year..when Moshe spoke to the Children of Israel, according to everything that Hashem commanded him to them’.
Rashi comments, on the opening passuk (verse) of our Parasha, that ‘these are words of rebuke’ that, ‘out of respect for Israel’, are not explicit, but that the Torah here merely alludes to them.
As to the passuk which we brought above, Rashi comments:’This teaches us that Moshe rebuked them only a short while before his death. From whom did he learn this? From Yaakov, who rebuked his sons only a short while before his death.
He said:’Reuben, my son, I will tell you why I have not reproved you during all those years: So that you would not leave me and join my brother, Esav. And for four reasons, one should not reprimand a person except shortly before one’s death: so that he should not rebuke him and again have to rebuke him, so as not to cause him to feel ashamed when he sees him, etc. These appear in Sifrei. And similarly, Joshua..and so, Samuel..and so also, David rebuked his son Shlomo only shortly before his death.’
The Siftei Chachamim, commenting on this Rashi, first asks rhetorically:’Why did Moshe need to learn this from Yaakov, why could he not have, on his own, learned it from one or more of the four reasons which Rashi himself brought, as to why the rebuke should only be shortly before the death of the rebuker?’He answers: ‘Because none of those four reasons applied between Moshe Rabbeinu and his people - and so, we must conclude that he learned it from Yaakov.’
Rav Meir Binyamin Danon, in his commentary ‘Be’er BaSadeh’ on Rashi, adds:’Meaning: that Moshe learned from Yaakov that the father IS to rebuke his children, and the Rav his pupils - and that this should be shotly before the death of the rebuker.
‘Whilst there is a Mitzvah to rebuke, ‘even one hundred times’, that is only when one sees another about to transgress a Mitzvah - or not to perform a Mitzvah; there is no Mitzvah to rebuke someone who has already transgressed, as then he is subject to the prescribed punishment by the Batei Din.
‘However! Moshe learned from Yaakov Avinu, that there is an obligation to rebuke one’s children - and Bnei Israel are all like the children of Moshe.
‘The concern: ‘lest you leave me and cleave to Esav’, is, that were Yaakov to rebuke him earlier, Reuben - who had done teshuva for disarraying his father’s bed, out of concern for his mother’s honor - might conclude that his repentance was not accepted, and that therefore all was lost - and decide to go over to Esav.
‘When the rebuke is given shortly before the death of his father, the intent of the rebuke is to say to him: my son, during my lifetime I did not rebuke you for your past misdeeds, because every day I adjured you to observe Hashem’s commandments; but now, as I will shortly depart this life, and there will be no-one to warn you, be alert not to fall to the wiles of your inclination, as you did in the past’.
The Ktav Sofer brings an intriguing Midrash, which relates the rebuke in our Parasha, the passuk:’And Yeshurun became fat and rebelled’.
The answer is, that it is human nature that whilst all is well, and the person is free from worry or travail, rebuke as to future problems, will not find a place in his heart.
‘Therefore Yaakov Avinu did not rebuke his sons until shortly before his departure, knowing that to do so previously would not have the desired effect; but now, when their concern at the approaching death of their beloved father would fill their hearts, they would be amenable and his words would enter their ears, and hearts.
This was the lesson that Moshe Rabbeinu learned from Yaakov Avinu, not to rebuke them in his lifetime, as - as the Torah relates - when ‘Yeshurun become fat’ they would rebel, and any rebuke would be counter-productive’.
Finally, Rav Avigdor Nebebzahl graces us with his Torah wisdom, first noting:’Forty eight years had elapsed from the incident of Reuben, till the rebuke by his father, shortly before his departure from this life, though the Torah makes clear that Yaakov was aware of the event immediately it occurred.
‘If you should proffer, that he forgave his son, why did he change his mind, and dedide to rebuke him shortly before his death?
‘Rashi deals with these issues, and answers, that Yaakov delayed rebuking his eldest son till now, out of concern lest he leave him, and cleave to Esav.
‘Despite the great importance that there is to rebuke, he delayed doing so all these years, out of concern for the deleterious effects rebuke might have.
‘In truth, to us, Yaakov’s concern may seem far-fetched; many lesser mortals are rebuked regularly, without any harmful results. Moreover, to whom is Reuben likely to ‘emigrate? To his very opposite: Esav?
‘Esav did all that he could to kill his brother, unlike Reuben, who - despite Yosef having deprived him of some of his birth rights - made heroic efforts to save Yosef, from the fate decreed by his brothers.
Why! then, was there a concern that Reuben would ‘go over’ to Esav?’.
‘The answer might be learned from Lot: Lot was so righteous, that our Sages said that he ‘resembled’ his holy kinsman, Avraham Avinu; yet, after Avraham rebuked him for the misdeeds of his shepherds, Lot left Avraham - and where did he choose to go? To the wicked Sdom - such was the effect of the rebuke!
‘Yaakov was not concerned that rebuke would cause Reuben to immediately leave him, and go over to Esav; clearly, this would not happen.
‘Rather, his concern was, that should Reuben be affronted by his father’s rebuke, there MIGHT take place in his thoughts a fleeting feeling, that it might be more comfortable for him, with Esav.
‘Once this feeling takes root, it might slowly develop, even to the ultimate reaction of leaving the house of Yaakov, and joining Esav - such is the power of being shamed.
‘In truth, we don’t know if the concern of Yaakov was justified; to us, the more likely outcome would be that Reuben would accept his father’s rebuke, and successfully withstand the test.
‘However, the concern of Yaakov Avinu, the wise sage, is for us as ‘concluded Torah’ and its practical consequence is that, when we are considering whether to rebuke someone, we have to carefully weigh the possible results of rebuke, on that person.
‘Indeed, as Rashi comments in our Parasha, Moshe Rabbeinu took this concern on board, and did not rebuke Bnei Israel during their forty years wanderings, in the wildernesss.
‘If all of these great figures - and our Sages - accepted this as ‘halakha in fact’, clearly it is also ‘living Torah’ for us’.
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