Rebbetzin Tziporah

 

Dear friends,

When one of my kids was a kid, (yes, there is a certain age where “young goat” is an apt description) he wished that there was a shot that he could get into his head, and have all of the torah stay inside his brain. This is not the Great Plan.

In order for the Torah to become organic, you have to struggle with the amount of information and its unending depth to make it your own. The process and the product are identical.  You become torah. 

The Talmud says that “The Merciful One, wants your heart.” Your mind is the navigator, but your heart is the captain. No one ever knows the entire Torah, but your heart will open to Hashem’s will and wisdom by opening it to His words. 

This week’s Parshah, Mishpatim, is chock full of laws. They range from laws concerning the relationship you have to have with those who are vulnerable, to holidays and everything in between. There are those of you who are very familiar with them, and those of you who are less familiar. You can be isolated by your ignorance (or at least think erroneously that you are isolated), or you can turn the pages wishing that the words would enter your heart as well as your mind, and sometimes you will actually succeed.

So… I want to tell you about my dear friend, Nechama Burnham (real name) (I came close to writing “old friend” but when you reach a certain age that is no longer tactful. I guess I could have said a “friend of long standing”). She achieved the goal that matters – torah is in her heart. One of the ways that this happened was by her becoming a

PARTNER IN TORAH

No this doesn’t mean that she gave a fortune to a yeshiva (although that would be wonderful). Hear her story.

Nechama was born in Baltimore, which even today is Normalsville USA, but in her childhood it was even more so. Magically, Bais Yaakov managed to be a Bais Yaakov that lived up to its name, but was simultaneously warm and accepting of girls of varied backgrounds. Nechama found herself teaching – not in the formal sense, but teaching nonetheless – whenever the opportunity came to share some of what she knew. When she finished high school, she continued her education at Yavne seminary in Cleveland where her love of learning shifted to become a lifelong love of teaching. 

The next step was teaching kindergarten with the goal of giving them more than a happy pastime, but love of Hashem and knowledge that would stay with them at the same time.  Eighteen years after her marriage to Rav Aryeh, it was time for the Burnham family to make Aliya. It was then that she decided that her next step would be reaching out to adults. 

When she called Partners in Torah she was amazed with the way they matched the teacher and the student. Age, interests, lifestyles, were all considered. Her first shidduch was perfect. Vicky had begun to take a serious interest Judaism while living in New Jersey, listening to the talks given by a young brilliant orthodox rabbi. When her husband’s job took him to Phoenix her newly discovered Jewish interest was almost shelved until she was told about Partners in Torah. 

Nechama and Vicky have become close friends over the years. Vicky’s observance has changed dramatically. Instead of being “interesting”, or even “fascinating” it has taken a place in her heart that is reserved for truth. One of her challenges was attending synagogue. The nearest orthodox synagogue was Chabad, and it was the pivot of her spiritual life. The problem is that it is not walking distance from their home. She and her husband drove in “religiously” (if that’s the right word) until one day, after many telephone tutorials with Nechama, she recognized on her own that serving Hashem has to be on His terms. Her husband and family still attend Chabad. She davens in her living room, with the kind of simchah that comes when your love of Hashem finds expression. 

Her next step was mikve, and then covering her hair when she leaves the house. There are still empty spaces – kosher food is expensive, and the foods she is used to and enjoys don’t have “kosher versions” in Phoenix. She is taking steps and she will take more steps. Nechamah and Vicky have been learning for 9 years, and the process has changed them both.

Nechama presently has five women with whom she learns as a Partner. Each has a story, and each becomes part of the chain that bonds us with each other and with Hashem.

There is a reason why I told you about Nechama.

If you are educated enough to read this letter, you can be a Partner with someone else who knows (even?) less than you. The basic rule is that if you know aleph and beis, find someone who only knows aleph. There are, of course, women who, unlike Vicky, have had the opportunity to go to Jewish schools, but still have areas of doubt or confusion.  And yes, there are also people who just want to deepen their knowledge in order to make their inner life rich.

Look through the parshah. Let it tell you how to say no to everything that blocks you, and how to say yes to the choices that open the doors. And then, maybe do what Nechama did.

Enjoy mishpatim!

Love,

Tziporah