Dear friends,
Yaakov’s life was never easy. His childhood was marred by his unrelenting need to deal with his brother Eisov. Eisov lived to control, to own, and to use. His favorite tool was duplicity. And he was his father’s favorite.
Yitzchak was dedicated to turning Eisov, his oldest son, into something he would never be – someone who lived for Hashem, not for himself alone. The basic rule that touches every aspect of every relationship is, “The more you give, the more you love.” Yitzchak loved Eisov because he gave him so much time, heart, and everything a father could give. He would hear Eisov’s spin on halachah and think that at least some progress is being made. He would see his efforts at honoring his father as an opening to genuine spiritual movement.
How would you feel if you were Yaakov?
We don’t know how Yaakov felt. We do know that he couldn’t have been at ease with a step he had to take later on, he must have felt enormous pain in misrepresenting himself to Yitzchak by presenting himself as Eisov to prevent Eisov from receiving the blessings that would be his tool in destroying everything that Avraham and Yitzchak had built. It was necessary, and his disguising himself was closer to the truth (in his being far more able to be the next link in line of avos) than letting Yitzchak think that Eisov was really in the running for being a spiritual leader.
How would you feel about this need to twist things if living with truth was the core of your personality?
WHAT’S TRUTH ANYWAY?
This week’s parshah begins with telling you what happened on the first leg of his journey. Yaakov stopped to sleep, put 12 stones around his head, they miraculous bonded and became one stone, as he slept and experienced one of the Torah’s most moving dream narratives. What was going on? When you take a glance under the surface, what you see is that the miracle of the stones becoming one, tells you a great deal about Yaakov, a lot about the nature of truth, and potneitally a lot about yourself.
Imagine a puzzle with many pieces, the kind that newlyweds buy…. You know that the pieces form a picture, and that knowledge is what keeps you in the game. The way you and I see the world is as a place that is multi-layered and very very fragmented. You can forget that there is an underlying puzzle with pieces that come together to form a picture of indescribable beauty, a picture that has not as yet fully emerged. Yaakov saw the world as a whole. Each piece has its meaning; his vision was clear enough to see that in its own way each piece is necessary and cohesive. The truth by definition is the entire picture. A hint at this is the way the word for truth, “emes,” is spelled. The first letter, aleph, is 13 letters from the middle, and the last letter, tavv, is also 13 letters from the middle. The number 13 is the value of the word echad, which means “one”. What this tells you is that all of the pieces are part of a whole, and equidistant from the core.
Emes isn’t easy. I read a story about Rav Yaakov Kamenetzky from Hanoch Teller’s book “Above the Bottom Line.” The story has him in a jewelry store. He asked the owner to weigh an object he was given as a present by his community (I think it was a kiddush cup). The owner couldn’t help himself-the words just came out before he could stop them. “Most people don’t have their gifts professionally appraised. They just say thank you.” Rav Yaakov explained himself. “I have to report my income when I pay tax. This includes donations and gifts.
I hope that I am not judging you too unfavorably when I suggest many people wouldn’t have a gift weighted so that they could be sure that they are giving Uncle Sam every cent that he deserves.
The truth is that living in a country, paying tax, and owning possessions is all part of one picture. We are too close to the picture to see its details, and we have a normal but disturbing tendency to suffice by seeing the rocks honestly and without prejudice, but separately, and not part of the whole.
Going back to Yaakov. The twelve stones united. The number 12 isn’t random. It hints at the 12 different ways of rearranging the letters of Hashem’s Name. This is also the number of easily visible constellations in the zodiac. In earlier times people knew the art of using astronomy to read the map of emerging reality. What they were actually observing was the flow of Hashem’s will as it descends to each and every piece of the Great Puzzle. Each of the twelve tribes was born in a different month, under a different constellation. This tells you that they all are essentially one, aspects of the way Hashem wants us to know Him, through the 12 different ways in which His name can be written.
Yaakov could bring up his 12 sons to find their own peice in the Great Puzzle. They were all tzaddikim, and they were all different.
He also “birthed himself” by seeing each chapter in his life as part of a whole. The pasuk calls him “Ish tamm,” a whole or complete man.
AND YOU?
Your life has many chapters. You may be able to see them form a whole, or you may be in process, or you may be stuck seeing each piece as totally unrelated to any other piece. Thinking about Yaakov’s dream may open some doors. Angels went up and angels came down. The Hebrew word for angel is “malach,” which literally means “agent.” Hashem’s messengers rise; they may have come to you to test you and to offer you the opportunity to find light in dark places.
The darkest place of all can be the human heart. Midrash Tanchumah says that the reason that Yaakov had to find himself exiled from his home, and on the road, with no clear vision of what would happen next can be learned through the laws concerning someone who kills another person through negligence. He must leave everything behind him and go to a city of refuge. Yaakov was judged by Hashem as having “killed” Eisov by his negligence. He shouldn’t have given up on Eisov – he could have drawn him close and kept him from digging his hole deeper and deeper. If you see the entire picture, you never totally give up on anyone. Yaakov’s error was that he didn’t believe in himself enough – his humility left him thinking that this was beyond him.
Let your truth see the light in every person and every situation. Hashem is always there, and that means that there is always a spark of truth just waiting for you.
Chanukah is coming! Light in the dark!!!!
Love,
Tziporah
No comments:
Post a Comment