Rebbetzen Tziporah – Vayeshev

 

Dear friends,

What time does Shabbos come in where you live? Here in Yerushalayim, there was a difference of opinion between two calendars. One had it at 3:55 while the other had it at 4:01, which of course would allow you to luxuriate in the ample time for “just being” drinking a coffee or sliding into first base if that is your style. 

Theoretically, early Shabbos means that Friday night when the meal ends you still have time to read, catch a schmooze with the folks around the table, or finally get the inner space and time to pick up a serious sefer. For me, the theory only goes so far. No matter how early it is, when the table is cleared my eyes grow heavy, the lines in the book seem to flow into each other and before I can seriously command my body to stay awake I find myself in bed, in horizontal heaven.

Now that we understand each other (notice how I made you an accomplice) you will understand why I never genuinely understood Rashi’s comment on the words, “And Yaakov dwelled”. Quoting the Midrash, he tells you that the tzaddikim are not content with their reward in the future life, but they seek tranquility in this world. 

 

Yaakov had been through so much: Eisov, Lavan, and Dinah, that he wanted some respite, but this is not what is meant for the tzaddikim. Instead of the tranquility he sought, what happened was the fury and chaos of what life became when Yosef’s story began to evolve.

The reason that I found this Rashi to be so difficult is that tranquility seems like such a worthy goal. Don’t we greet each other with the word Shalom? Isn’t the word Shalom the climax of bircat kohanim, the ancient triplicate priestly blessing? Tranquility is to me what Shabbos is to time. Isn’t that what we all long for?

Not really.

The hoary old joke has it that there was a man who won the second prize in the contest (it doesn’t matter what contest. Don’t send an email asking for clarification). It was a two-day trip to Philadelphia. The winner of the Grand Prize won a one-day trip to Philadelphia. While my intent is not to randomly offend those of you who live in the City of Brotherly Love, it’s to make the point that when nothing much is happening the result is not always raw joy.

Yaakov had contended with Eisov, Lavan, and Dina’s abduction to Shechem. In each case, he was able to get through the coarse layers of falsehood and end up a spiritual hero. Eisov’s endless power-playing led Yaakov to turn to Hashem with even greater devotion. Lavan’s depravity left Yaakov even more committed to the mitzvot than he was before he was tested. 

When he confronted Eisov after leaving Lavan’s house, he could honestly say, “I lived with Lavan and kept all 613 mitzvot.” He took what was evil and found ways to let them lead him to Hashem, as though the ladder he saw in the dream he had on the way to Lavan’s house was magically transposed into a spiritual ladder in which each challenge to him up to the next rung. This not only touched him but his children were also transformed by their having confronted Lavan. They are referred to in the text as “his brothers” even though some of them were really just kids. In the final act, when they faced off Lavan and went separate ways, and then did the same with Eisov they were ready for the Grande finale where the curtains come down and the credits are given to all the performers.

Hashem can see you better than you see yourself, and He knew that what Yaakov and all of the tzaddikim want is not the Grande finale. They want to live! To be here and constantly add to the world’s goodness and light. In a certain sense, they want to bring the light of Shabbos to the struggles of the work week.

Sleeping on Shabbos is more than just rest; it’s surrender to the reality of Hashem finishing the work that you live for love. The Arizal who was extremely guarded with his time, using every moment purposefully, slept two hours on Shabbos afternoons.

Wanting tranquility is a just and beautiful desire.  Confusing tranquility with passivity is very very easy. Tranquility is the feeling of a meaningful job that is finally complete. Passivity is the rejection of struggle. It’s valid to want Shabbos in every sense of the word.

For that reason, even on the crazy winter days when Shabbos comes in leaving you struggling to catch your breath, try taking it in 10 minutes earlier. When I was with Bnos Avigail in Bnei Brak, Rebbitzen Koladetski made this suggestion which I promptly considered, thought about, contemplated, and envisioned. You guessed it. I did nothing to change my 'slide into first base' habit. 

Then my friend Ayala Hass mentioned to me that she has started an initiative for her friends and acquaintances to enjoy the act of bringing in Shabbos early, and was incentivizing it with a small raffle for those who could honestly affirm that they did this three or more times. My first inclination was to think about wiping Ayala’s number off my phone. My second one was to think about what I really want, and when the answer was the tranquility of Shabbos, I jumped in. It’s been four weeks.

No, I didn’t win a prize. A bit more Shabbos was the best prize imaginable.

Love,

Tziporah

Have a great Shabbos!

PS: I am adding an enclosure. It is about my two weddings in the States, and it speaks to you of my son’s joy and hard work in making it happen. Open it at your own risk… 

[My apologies for the delay.  - The Admins]