going home ... to yerushalayim: Rabbi Weissman: IDF......

09 July 2025

Rabbi Weissman: IDF......

IDF Home Sacrifice Plan Gains Traction Amid Concerns

It's a win-win for everyone, including the haredim

Today at 4 PM Israel time will be my weekly Torah class. In light of recent events, we will see a few interesting sources that explain why Jewish soldiers get killed (in addition to what I already planned to teach). The answer is partially obvious, but for those who want more depth and illuminating Torah sources, the link to register for the live class is https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tk4VttyYQ2efCPuZ63LouQ.

A few interesting items before the main article:

Report: Soldiers who observed the terrorists were denied authorization to take them out. Incredibly, they still believe it was something to do with poor strategy and lack of concern for the lives of the soldiers, not murder by proxy. I thought Jews were supposed to be smart.

Extraordinary gesture: Netanyahu presents Trump with a 'B-2 mezuzah'

Next time the Prime Sheigitz will present President False Messiah with a roll of toilet paper made from a Torah scroll, and retarded Jews will dance with joy.

If you want to make Hashem really angry, this is one of the best ways.

I heard so much from brainwashed losers about leftist generals who let October 7 happen to make Bibi look bad and bring down this historic ultra right wing religious government the media insists we have.

"Qassam fighters knew the route the military convoy was traveling, as well as the supply and rescue routes."

Tell me, brainwashed losers, are the same leftist generals ordering particular groups of soldiers into carefully planned death traps and tipping off Hamas?

Someone should really inform our ultra right wing religious government so they can put a stop to it.

IDF Home Sacrifice Plan Gains Traction, Concerns Linger (Mostly Real News Agency)

Disclaimer: Due to the difficulties many people have with discerning fake news from reality, we note that the following was still satire at the time of publication.

It’s war and people have to die — but there might be a better way.

After years of research, Israel’s Defense Ministry is preparing to launch a new program designed to achieve the same results, with fewer complications. General Nimrod “Boogie” Boged presented details of the previously top-secret initiative before media mouthpieces who know when to read the script and when to shut up.

“It’s elegant in its simplicity,” he explained. “Instead of keeping soldiers on active duty for weeks or months on end, away from family and work, they can serve remotely, from the comfort of their home. They can go about their daily lives without interruption. When it’s their turn, a team of specialists will schedule an appointment, meet them at their home, take them out back, and sacrifice them.”

Boged explained the numerous advantages of this system, which will be called Shaul’s Sword. “Sacrificing soldiers on the battlefield requires complex operations and subterfuge. There are so many variables, so many things that could go wrong — even miracles and accidental victories have been known to happen. Years of planning and coordination can be wasted. It creates a tremendous strain on the system.

“Simply meeting them at home and finishing them off is much cleaner and more convenient for everyone, not to mention better for the environment and the healthcare industry.”

Boged added that, although there are new costs involved with the program, overall it will save the state hundreds of millions of shekels a year. “We’ve whittled down the cost of feeding and outfitting soldiers as it is — meager rations, donations from the public, and obtaining used underwear from the US Army have definitely helped cut costs — but we are always looking for ways to maximize war profits, without compromising on our overall goals.”

The plan is not without controversy, however. Human rights groups blasted this plan as cutting off the livelihoods of Hamas killers, but senior IDF officials strongly denied this, noting that there will always be a robust market for murder by proxy, and promising that cash will continue to flow to idle assassins even if the “home hospice” program is successful.

“We are sensitive to everyone’s needs and concerns,” said Boged.

When asked if this program would be accepted by the religious community, Boged gave an emphatic yes. “Leading Religious Zionist rabbis have already pre-approved the plan — na’aseh v’nishma, as they put it — and they are working on simplistic Torah sound bites for our media and marketing teams.

“Besides, they want nothing more than to sacrifice for the state. We are eager to make it easier and more convenient for them.”

Soldiers will be selected for home sacrifice based on a sophisticated algorithm. The details are mostly classified, but Boged shared that priority will still be given to religious soldiers, heads of units, and recently married men, just like on the battlefield, but a randomness feature will ensure a measure of equality.

“We’re doing our best to provide the same experience as sacrifice on the battlefield. Soldiers who die on the home program will receive a full military funeral with all the same emotional effect. They will be promoted at least one rank after death, even if they don’t deserve it. The media will glorify them no differently than soldiers who get ambushed in death traps or run directly into explosives for no clear reason. State officials will issue the usual statements about the nation mourning the painful loss, the great sacrifice they made, and whatnot.

“They are losing nothing by being sacrificed in this way. We will even provide a festive farewell party on the big day, which soldiers in the field do not receive.

Boged added that the state will also provide the families with three Israeli flags and one hundred complimentary bumper stickers with a picture of their fallen hero and a favorite inspirational message. Officially these are not allowed to be placed on bus stops, but police are instructed to look the other way and go after the real criminals, like settlers and draft dodgers.

“Family members will also be entered into a raffle for the right to light a torch, be honored at moving ceremonies, and even take a photo with a Knesset member (subject to availability).”

General Boged then addressed the elephant in the room. What about the haredim?

“We’ve already met with senior haredi rabbis and it won’t be a problem. They understand that the status quo is no longer viable, and we have worked hard to address their main concerns.

“The home sacrifice program is ideal for haredim, because there is no issue with secular influences, indoctrination, contact with females, Shabbos desecration, kashrus, discrimination, or religious persecution. Haredim are free to continue learning or loafing, whatever the case may be, in their preferred environment, and do not even need to sign up for a draft.

“They will even be granted some measure of autonomy in selecting their own sacrifices, which will provide extra motivation for everyone to become a top learner, follow Da’as Torah, and stay in line. The ones who are selected will generally be the ones who aren’t successful in yeshiva, anyway — so, once again, everyone wins.

“This is why we decided to call the program Shaul’s Sword, over other proposed names such as Molech’s Inferno. Shaul’s Sword evokes images of a great biblical hero making the ultimate sacrifice on his own sword, on his own terms, without falling into the hands of enemies.”

Boged also addressed the concern that reducing service time away from home would lead to more children being born, especially among religious Jews. “We are confident that this will be offset by a robust vaccination drive and other measures.”

The Shaul’s Sword program may be expanded to pre-draft teenagers in the future.

Yachad ninatze'ach! Together we will win!