Thursday at 4:30 PM Israel time will be episode 58 of my Root and Branch Amalek and Erev Rav program. I will be joined by Mordechai Sones, longtime news editor for Arutz Sheva, who resigned in protest over their covid-related censorship, and current News Director for Frontline News (America's Frontline Doctors). You won't want to miss it. The link to register for the live program is here.
More important info follows the article.
What Helps and Doesn't Help Singles – Part Four
The first three parts are available here, here, and here.
7) Don't act like a prophet.
Singles encounter all sorts of armchair prophecies, which tend to conflict with one another. The nature of the prophecy depends more on the feelings of the prognosticator toward the single than actual divine information – or any information at all – though you wouldn't know it from the conviction with which he delivers the message.
Why do people say things like “By this time next year you will be married”? Surely they have no inside information (I can attest to that from personal experience). Perhaps they wish for the single to be cheerful and optimistic, fully confident that his deliverance is right around the corner, even if it means lying to them. But what happens when the year passes (for some reason these prophets like to give it a year) without the promised salvation, or even anything close?
Maybe the first time the single hears this it's cute and encouraging, but what do you think happens after that, when his hopes have already been deflated numerous times, and his emotions are covered with scar tissue? Do you think that chipper declaration about salvation right around the corner – which never comes with an actual attempt to help the single – really boosts his morale or his chances? Are you so sure it doesn't fall flat, or even have a negative effect?
The false prophets with their “positive thinking” never think about that.
Then there are the purveyors of doom and gloom. “You already met your bashert but you turned her down because her nose was too big.” Some people delight in making this horrible remark, because a prominent rabbi allegedly responded thus to a single man who had come, heart in hand, seeking assistance and support.
How clever! How witty! How insightful! Put that picky single in his place! Of all the ways one might emulate this particular rabbi, this is far and away the favorite.
When I was in my early thirties a woman who called herself a shadchan had the gall to tell me after a very brief meeting (the purpose of which was to discuss EndTheMadness, not to solicit her services) that anyone still single at my age had already missed their bashert.
Really! On what authority she, or even her rabbi, could make such a declaration is beyond me, but she stated it as an absolute fact of the universe.
Shadchanim with such pretentious airs and sociopathic tendencies are not the exception; they are the default. That people with such contempt for singles, who believe they are essentially losers who messed up their lives, deign to “serve” as matchmaker and get away with it is one of the great failures of our generation.
In another era, they may well have been false prophets.
8) Don't act like a prophet-lite.
You once had a hunch, made an introduction, and they got married. Lovely! You're not a prophet. You don't have a gift. (Even if you did, you should keep it to yourself.) Your little hunch story doesn't take the place of putting proper thought into a suggestion and being able to articulate why it makes sense, nor will it make singles feel any better when your next hunch doesn't work out for them.
It's a funny thing about hunches. Every time I had a hunch that someone's hunch wasn't a good idea, my hunch was right. But they won't consider the possibility that I have a gift.
I think they're jealous.
9) Do act immediately when you have a chance to help.
If you have a shidduch for someone that really makes sense, or is at least worth exploring to see if it makes sense, stop reading this right now and follow up immediately. If you've already begun the process and someone is waiting to hear back from you, why aren't you on the phone already? Every second that you let go by when you can potentially help someone get married is needlessly prolonging their pain. Why make them suffer another moment? If you were in distress of any kind, wouldn't you want others to assist you without delay, even if they were “busy”?
Not only is this a clear violation of v'ahavta lerei'acha kamocha — bad enough! — it's a grievous sin.
This is not an overstatement; it's Torah. Here are two teachings that clearly illustrate this point.
Yaakov worked for Lavan for seven years for the right to marry Rachel. At the conclusion of this time he said to Lavan “Bring my wife, for my days have been fulfilled, and I will come to her [a euphemism for marital relations]” (Bereishis 29:21).
Rashi writes as follows: “...for I am 84 years old, and when will I produce twelve tribes? This is what he said 'And I will come to her'; wouldn't even the lowest of people not speak like this? But to produce offspring he said this.”
Yaakov had the big picture firmly in mind. Getting married and having children was his number one priority, and he wasn't willing to put it off a single day more than necessary.
It states in Shmuel I 2:22 that Chafni and Pinchas, the sons of Eli the Kohen Gadol, would sleep with the married women who went to the mishkan. They did no such thing. The mere suggestion is preposterous; such egregious behavior would have elicited a far greater response than mere grumblings from the people and relatively light chastisement from their pious and powerful father.
Chazal explain the true meaning of this pasuk. “Rabbi Shmuel bar Nachmani said in the name of Rabbi Yonasan, anyone who says the sons of Eli sinned (according to the simple meaning) is nothing but mistaken. But how do I maintain “that they slept with the women”? Because they delayed the bringing of their bird-offerings, which prevented them from going to their husbands, the scripture considers it as if they slept with them.” (Shabbos 54B)
For causing husbands and wives to be needlessly separated for even a single night, Chafni and Pinchas are likened to adulterers for posterity.
Think about that before you say you're too busy to get back to a single who desperately wants to get married and build a family.
Every day that goes by is one less day he could be building a family and, if nothing else, enjoy being settled. If that isn't a big deal to you, it's a very big deal to Hashem.
To be continued.
__________________________
Download Tovim Ha-Shenayim as a PDF for free!
If you received this from someone else and want to receive future articles directly, please send a request to endthemadness@gmail.com.
* * *
In 2021 I interviewed Scott Mantel on my Medical War Crimes program, where he shared the heartbreaking story of how his wife Deborah was denied proper treatment at the hospital — including having been denied Ivermectin despite a prescription and a court order — and was slowly murdered. The video was taken down by YouTube for violating their policies against saying the truth, but has received nearly 70,000 views on Rumble.
After many months of searching for a lawyer willing to take on the case — which, in a normal world, would be open and shut — Scott has finally found a lawyer willing to take on the powerful establishment and fight for justice. He just started a crowdfunding campaign to help make this possible, and I encourage everyone to check it out at https://www.givesendgo.com/GA64V. If you are unable to contribute monetarily, please share it and/or say a prayer for their success.
My initial interview with Scott is available at https://rumble.com/vmgplt-r-and-b-medical-war-crimes-8-scott-mantel.html. Hopefully as their case proceeds we will be able to share good news.
* * *
Jews who heatedly insist we must say Hallel with a bracha on Yom Ha'atzmaut — the geula has happened! — yet remain in galus are some of the most ridiculous Jews of all. They are closely followed by Jews who believe the return of millions of Jews to Eretz Yisrael is theologically insignificant.
* * *
Israel's largest hospital honors Dr. Fauci
This is a positive development. Just about everyone knows Fauci is slime, and this will help wake up more people to how deep the rot is in Israel.
They literally murdered people in the hospitals and they did it knowingly. Nothing has changed. Orders from above.
The Freemason Erev Rav establishment is not the beginning of our redemption. It's the last obstacle.
2 comments:
"Then there are the purveyors of doom and gloom. “You already met your bashert but you turned her down because her nose was too big.” Some people delight in making this horrible remark, because a prominent rabbi allegedly responded thus to a single man who had come, heart in hand, seeking assistance and support.
How clever! How witty! How insightful! Put that picky single in his place! Of all the ways one might emulate this particular rabbi, this is far and away the favorite."
It also does not account for situations where one has had little to no opportunity to socialise to even be able to turn someone down to begin with (or has the self-awareness to recognise their dire prospects). Never mind the fact that the prospective bashert also presumably has the agency / free-will to say no point blank, if not even be capable of making very bad choices (like inverse of Leah Imenu who was originally intended to be paired with Esav until she beseeched Hashem to change her fate).
That said if besherts are also intended to be spiritual correctives (both positive as well as negative) along with helpmates and they basically removed themselves from being options beforehand at the cost of leaving the other half still single, why should the latter view their own situation as sad because of the choices made by another and not consider themselves thankful for being saved as it were if their predicament had some relatable parallels to Leah Imenu. (With it being Heaven's responsibility to recalibrate and contrive better options)
Re the bottom portion of the Rabbi's article; good news about the Scott Mantel case. B'Hatzlacha!
The Erev Rav within our midst, truly our worst soneh!
Post a Comment