Rabbi Weissman: Recovering Zionists Anonymous.....

 Recovering Zionists Anonymous vs. IDF Recruitment Meetings

The first step is to admit you have a problem

Two of the following three advertisements are real. One is brutally honest. See if you can correctly identify them.

Ad #1:

If you are 27 or older and dreamed of joining the IDF, now is your chance.

After the success of the Shlav Bet program which brought thousands of Charedim into the army where they contributed significantly to the war effort, the IDF is expanding the program to recruit Olim who previously received exemptions because of their age.

Recruits will go through a two week training in the coming months after which they will be placed in Meluim in the storied Ugdah 99 which has served in and around Gaza since the beginning of the war.

There will be an open house at — —, in Katamon this Wednesday, January 14, at 8:30 PM to learn more from Ugdah 99 officers.

Light dairy refreshments will be served.

RSVP via WhatsApp to ——

Ad #2:

Ad #3:

Do you have survivor guilt? Stockholm Syndrome? Delusions of grandeur? Suicidal thoughts? All of the above?

The IDF’s Shlav Bet program might be perfect for you.

Do you feel guilty that you still have all your limbs while thousands of people just like you are maimed for life, just so you could have all your limbs?

When friends and neighbors talk about the painful sacrifices they made, how horribly they are suffering, and how proud they are, do you feel left out and inadequate? Do you feel you can suffer more than you already do? Do you feel you deserve to suffer more?

We can help.

Do you dream of watching trucks full of food and supplies ride past you deep into Gaza while you beg people to donate food, clothing, and gear?

Would you love to help Israel’s state-owned weapons manufacturing companies continue making record profits off your sacrifices?

Would you like to do unpaid demolition work in Gaza and duck snipers so Trump and his globalist friends can build their dream city?

After only two weeks of training and you can be doing just that.

Have you always wanted to just follow orders, no matter how senseless and suicidal, or go to military jail?

Do you think you can handle the PTSD challenge?

Do you feel there’s no better and holier way to die than wearing an IDF uniform, under the delusion that you are a modern Maccabee keeping Jews safe, fulfilling glorious biblical prophecies, and bringing redemption?

Life is short. Don’t risk missing your opportunity to die al kiddush Hashem.

Come meet attractive, upbeat IDF recruiters who speak your language and seem very happy and successful. (If you are lucky, they might even flirt with you.) They’re going places! And you can too! (Maybe not the same places, but still.)

You will not meet bitter and enraged soldiers who curse they day they joined. There aren’t too many of them, they don’t represent the typical IDF experience, and they are only bitter because they are weak and Charedim are selfish.

No, the recruiters you will meet have been hand-picked and specially trained to deliver carefully crafted propaganda, developed by experts using the latest mind-control research, and they would love to answer all, most, or maybe a few of your questions.

Meanwhile, this appeared in Yediot Aharonot, Israel’s most widely distributed newspaper, written by someone who won the Israel Prize:

Molech enjoyed the many recent offerings, and is hungry for more.

If you aren’t moved by the sales pitch to offer up your life, limbs, and soul, you might enjoy the meeting of Recovering Zionists Anonymous instead. It’s embedded above.

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