Eliezer Meir Saidel : Cruelty from Without – Vayishlach

 Cruelty from Without – Vayishlach 

וַיְהִי לִי שׁוֹר וַחֲמוֹר צֹאן וְעֶבֶד וְשִׁפְחָה וָאֶשְׁלְחָה לְהַגִּיד לַאדֹנִי לִמְצֹא חֵן בְּעֵינֶיךָ. (בראשית לב, ו)

The subject of this shiur is Dinah, the daughter of Leah.

In this week's parsha (Breishit 34, 1) we read about the episode of Dinah and Schem the son of Chamor. For the most part, Chazal in the Midrash and the Mefarshim, paint a negative picture of Dinah. Today we will be exploring a chiddush that gives a completely different perspective on the whole topic, that also has practical ramifications regarding current events. 

R’ Tzadok HaKohen from Lublin says that if you want to understand something, you examine the first time it is mentioned in the Torah. If so, let us examine the origins of Dinah. 

Dinah was born out of chessed. Most often, the narrative in the Torah appears to focus on the chessed that Rachel did for her sister Leah, by revealing the simanim (חִנָּה - חַלָּה, נִדָּה, הַדְלָקַת הַנֵּר) given to her by Yaakov, in order that Leah would not be shamed when Lavan switched the sisters under the chuppah. This chessed was reciprocated by Leah. 

In the Gemara (Brachot 60a), Rav says that after giving birth to her 6^th son, Zevulun and becoming pregnant with her seventh child, Leah did a calculation, a דִּין וְחֶשְׁבּוֹן. "There will be Twelve Tribes born from Yaakov. I (Leah) have already given birth to six, the two שְׁפָחוֹת, Bilhah and Zilpah have already given birth to another four – making ten in total so far. If I give birth to a seventh son, making eleven tribes, that means that my sister Rachel will only give birth to one tribe, making her inferior even to the שְׁפָחוֹת". Leah had mercy on Rachel and prayed to HKB"H to not shame her sister Rachel. HKB"H switched the gender of the fetus already in the womb from a male to a female and Dinah was born, named after the דִּין וְחֶשְׁבּוֹן that Leah made.

The picture that the Midrash (Breishit Rabba 80,1) and many of the Mefarshim paint of Dinah, is that she was "promiscuous". The passuk says וַתֵּצֵא דִינָה בַּת לֵאָה (בראשית לד, א), Dinah "went out", in a negative context. 

David Hamelech (Tehilim 45, 14) says כָּל כְּבוּדָּה בַת מֶלֶךְ פְּנִימָה. We are all children of the King (HKB"H) and the wellspring of glory of a daughter of a king emanates from within and not without. For בְּנוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל, in this case Dinah, "going out", i.e. overexposure, is contrary to the דֶּרֶךְ of the Torah. The source of this concept in the Torah is when the three angels visited Avraham after the brit. Michael, who came to inform Sarah that she would give birth to Yitzchak, asked Avraham "Where is Sarah?" If Sarah was visible, Michael would not have had to ask. Avraham replied וַיֹּאמֶר הִנֵּה בָאֹהֶל (בראשית יח, ט). 

This fundamental Torah concept is misinterpreted, especially by liberalist, progressive feminist groups, as having "chauvinistic" overtones, as if the Torah is saying that "the place of a woman is in the home, barefoot and pregnant". What the Torah is actually saying is that the Jewish woman, not the man, is the driving force in the home, the source of blessing in the home. As we learn with Sarah (who had greater powers of prophecy than Avraham), the cloud of the Shechina of HKB"H rested on her tent/home (in her merit) and supernatural miracles were commonplace in Sarah's home (in her merit), the candle that remained lit from one erev Shabbat to the next, the blessing in the dough. When Sarah died, these phenomena ceased. 

This is what כָּל כְּבוּדָּה בַת מֶלֶךְ פְּנִימָה really means, it is outward radiation of an inner light. Just as the Beit Hamikdash radiates light and spirituality outward (the windows were designed to allow light to radiate outward, not inward וַיַּעַשׂ לַבָּיִת חַלּוֹנֵי שְׁקֻפִים אֲטֻמִים [מלכים א, ו, ד]), so too did Sarah's home resemble a Beit Mikdash, replete with Menora, Lechem Hapanim, etc. The "generator", the source of all this light, the Aron, is not exposed and visible for all to see, it is concealed behind the parochet. It is forbidden to gaze upon the Aron directly, but its radiated light and beauty are visible and apparent for all to see.

The Midrash above says that the reason the passuk specifies וַתֵּצֵא דִינָה בַּת לֵאָה is because "like mother like daughter", that the negative character trait of Dinah "going out" was inherited from her mother Leah. In last week's parsha (Vayeitzei), we encounter the episode with the דּוּדָאִים and the passuk there says וַתֵּצֶא לֵאָה לִקְרָאתוֹ (בראשית ל,טז), that Leah made herself beautiful and went out to greet Yaakov so that he would sleep with her that night (R' Bachyei). 

Contrary to all the commentaries that regard Dinah in a negative light, the Malbim says that the fact that the passuk says וַתֵּצֵא דִינָה בַּת לֵאָה אֲשֶׁר יָלְדָה לְיַעֲקֹב, davka associating Dinah not only with Leah, but also with Yaakov, indicates that she was a צַדֶּקֶת and צְנוּעָה.

We will use this שִׁיטָה of the Malbim as our base, taking it to the next level, as we attempt to obtain a better understanding of the personality that was Dinah. 

Following the passuk above detailing her birth, the next time Dinah is mentioned is when Yaakov reunites with Eisav, at the beginning of our parsha (she is not mentioned categorically in the psukkim, but rather in the Midrash).

The passuk says וַיָּקָם בַּלַּיְלָה הוּא וַיִּקַּח אֶת שְׁתֵּי נָשָׁיו וְאֶת שְׁתֵּי שִׁפְחֹתָיו וְאֶת אַחַד עָשָׂר יְלָדָיו וַיַּעֲבֹר אֵת מַעֲבַר יַבֹּק (בראשית לב, כג). Rashi, quoting the Midrash (Breishit Rabba 76, 9) on that passuk, asks "Where was Dinah?" The passuk mentions Yaakov's wives and eleven sons, but does not mention Dinah at all. The Midrash says that Yaakov took Dinah, hid her in a box and locked the box. Yaakov did not want Eisav to see Dinah, desire her and end up marrying her. 

The Midrash continues "R' Huna says in the name of R' Aba HaKohen Bardela – HKB"H said to Yaakov 'Since you refrained from doing a chessed by allowing your circumcised brother Eisav to marry Dinah בְּהֶתֵּר, you will be punished that she will end up marrying uncircumcised Schem the son of Chamor בְּאִסּוּר'". The Midrash is saying that if Yaakov would have allowed Dinah to marry Eisav, it would have been a chessed and that she would have brought Eisav to do tshuva.

This is an incredible Midrash and contrary to common sense.  Common sense would dictate that Yaakov was right in hiding Dinah, not only hiding her in the box, but locking the box. Why was he right? Because Eisav his brother was a רָשַׁע. We read in last week's parsha Vayeitzei that Leah's eyelashes fell out from excessive weeping at the thought that she would have to marry Eisav.

Many of the Mefarshim (Moshav Zkeinim mi'Baalei HaTosfot 221; Or Hatzafon 1, 203; Nahalat Yaakov, Breishit 32, 23; Chizkuni 33, 7) say that a person is under no obligation to marry their righteous daughter to a רָשַׁע, on the "off chance" that he may do tshuva. 

However, Sefer Chassidim (תפ"ט), written by R' Yehuda HaChassid (1140 CE) follows the שִׁיטָה of the Midrash above and says that Yaakov hiding Dinah is one a few special cases in which the person, instead of asking his teacher, acted independently, albeit with good intentions, but was punished for it. In this case, Yaakov should have asked HKB"H what to do, but instead, acted of his own volition and it turned out "badly" (actually "worse" is a better word, as we will soon see). 

What both the Midrash and Sefer Chassidim are implying is that - Dinah was a unique case. 99.9% of the time it is required to apply the principle of כָּל כְּבוּדָּה בַת מֶלֶךְ פְּנִימָה and not "go out". Dinah was one of a small number of exceptions (that you can count on one hand). Dinah had a special character trait - she possessed the ability to "go out", or in more contemporary terms to "reach out", outreach.

When Eisav and Yaakov and later Leah and Rachel were born, their respective parents Yitzchak/Rivka and Lavan/Adina (Lavan's wife's name was Adina [Sefer Hayashar, Toldot]) betrothed them – the elder brother Eisav would marry the elder sister Leah and the younger brother Yaakov the younger sister Rachel.

We know that both Leah and Rachel were צַדִּיקוֹת. Yitzchak and Rivka knew who Eisav was (Rivka for sure and according to most opinions, despite Eisav's deceit, Yitzchak too). Why would they inflict Eisav on a צַדִּיקָה like Leah? The answer is given in the Midrash (Breishit Rabba 80,1) above – "like mother like daughter", but not in a negative context - in a positive context, like the Malbim says. Leah, like her daughter Dinah, also possessed the character trait of "going out", the gift of reaching out. 

 Neither Leah nor Dinah were "fragile" creatures that needed to be protected by כָּל כְּבוּדָּה בַת מֶלֶךְ פְּנִימָה. Just like Rivka, who grew up in a hostile environment with brother Lavan, so too did Leah grow up with Lavan (her father).  Lavan's sister Rivka and Lavan's daughter Leah were made of sterner stuff. With a teacher like Lavan, no other hostile environment could come close or threaten ironclad צַדִּיקוֹת of that stature. If Leah would have married Eisav, she would have made him eventually do tshuva. Similarly, her daughter Dinah. This is what the Midrash is saying.

There was one difference, however, between mother Leah and daughter Dinah. Leah abhorred the idea of marrying Eisav and wept endlessly at the prospect of it. Dinah was different, she viewed people like Eisav as a challenge and if offered the opportunity to marry him, would have jumped at the idea. The reason Yaakov not only hid her in a box, but also locked the box (When Avraham went down to Egypt with Sarah in a box, he didn't lock the box), was not to prevent Eisav from discovering Dinah, but to prevent Dinah from escaping and willingly marrying Eisav! That is who Dinah was, the fiber of her very being – doing outreach and causing רְשָׁעִים to do tshuva.

When Yaakov prevented her from marrying Eisav, the result was that Dinah eventually was taken by Schem the son of Chamor. This is the way the story had to turn out, no matter what – Dinah had to bear childrenfrom someone of the ilk of Eisav or Schem. Our Midrash above criticizes Yaakov for not knowing that, or according to the Sefer Chassidim, not asking HKB"H about it. The reason the Midrash criticizes Yaakov is because that was Dinah's destiny. If Yaakov prevented it from transpiring in a "better" way (with a circumcised husband like Eisav), then it was going to happen anyway, but in a less optimal way (with uncircumcised Schem).

The question is why? Why was it Dinah's destiny that she had to bear a child with a רָשַׁע from outside Am Yisrael?

In order to understand it, we need to backtrack a little to the parshiyot Lech Lecha and Vayeira. Parshat Lech Lecha and Vayeira have one central, underlying theme – the establishment of the lineage of Mashiach ben David. The entire story of Lot in the Torah has one and only one purpose – it establishes the lineage of David Hamelech and Mashiach ben David. If that were not the case, Lot would not appear at all in the Torah, we would never have heard of Sdom, nor of the battle of the 4 vs. the 5 kings. All these episodes appear in the Torah, because they are each a vital piece in the puzzle that sets the stage for Mashiach ben David. As soon as that infrastructure is in place, these characters and places "disappear" from the Torah. After we read that Lot's daughters sleep with him and Amon and Moav are born, Lot's task is finished and his name is never mentioned again. 

Have you ever wondered why it was essential that David Hamelech had to be descended from Boaz (Tribe of Yehuda) and Rut, who was from Moav? Why does Mashiach ben David have to be partially descended from Moav? We are talking about the iconic king of Israel, the idyllic model of monarchy in Israel. We are talking about Mashiach ben David who will herald the Geulah! Would it not have been better if David Hamelech and Mashiach ben David had pure, untainted blood? Would it not have been better if Boaz, a descendant of Yehuda would have married a woman also from the tribe of Yehuda? Yehuda = monarchy in Am Yisrael, so let it be both on the father and the mother's side!

However, that is not the way HKB"H planned it. For two reasons. 

The first is to dupe the Satan. The process of the emergence of Mashiach cannot happen in plain sight for all to see. If the process is exposed, the Satan will try hamper it. In order to camouflage it from the Satan, HKB"H builds the process of Mashiach in a convoluted way, with many "curve balls" that the Satan will never see coming (see shiur on Vayeitzei 2020).

The second reason is directly related to this week's parsha. Am Yisrael are exemplified by three primary characteristics – בַּיְשָׁנִים, רַחֲמָנִים, גּוֹמְלֵי חֲסָדִים. However, in order to be a king in Israel, to be Mashiach, an additional character trait is required – cruelty! To be a king of Am Yisrael or Mashiach, you need to possess the three core character traits indigenous to Am Yisrael above, but you also need a character trait that is not indigenous to Am Yisrael. Am Yisrael do not have cruelty in their DNA, you need to import this genetic trait from an outside source.  

The Torah forbids males from Amon and Moav from ever converting and becoming part of Am Yisrael because Moav is the prototype of cruelty. From the time Am Yisrael left Egypt until and after the destruction of the 1^st Beit Hamikdash, what typified Moav was cruelty. They refused to give Am Yisrael food and water in the desert. They provoked Nebuchadnezzar to destroy the 1st Beit Hamikdash. Moav were one of the worst neighbors Am Yisrael ever had. If you want to "import" primo quality "cruelty DNA", the best place to get it from is Moav.

Why does a king in Israel and Mashiach have to possess a quality of cruelty? Unlike democracy, in which a leader rules based on a popularity contest and voter polls, a king in Israel, the model of monarchy in Israel is completely detached from anything resembling a popularity contest. The requirement to be a king in Israel and Mashiach is not elections or voter polls, but what HKB"H tells you to do, whether it is popular or not. 

Sometimes HKB"H tells a king to do things that are not popular, even things that contradict the three indigenous character traits of בַּיְשָׁנִים, רַחֲמָנִים, גּוֹמְלֵי חֲסָדִים. An example of this is the mitzva to wipe out Amalek. To do so requires a degree of cruelty and is contrary to the trait of רַחֲמָנִים. After HKB"H orders Shaul to wage war and wipe out Amalek, Shmuel Hanavi arrives at the scene only to find Agag still alive and the sound of bleating sheep fills the air. Why did Shaul not kill Agag and the livestock as HKB"H commanded? because Shaul, like the rest of his army are not cruel by nature, they lack cruelty in their DNA. Shaul and his army wiped out all the rest of Amalek, the men, women and children, but to totally obliterate the last vestige – Agag, was contrary to their nature, to their DNA. Similarly, to wipe out all the livestock. How did the sheep sin that they were farmed by Amalekites? they are dumb sheep, תְּנוּ לַחַיּוֹת לִחְיוֹת. 

The reason Shaul was not up to the task, although he was an enormous Tzaddik, a great warrior and hero, is because he was from the tribe of Binyamin and did not possess the required DNA of cruelty to be king. Shaul was swayed by popular opinion polls, he was not the model king.

David Hamelech had cruelty in his DNA, it was imported via his great grandmother Rut, from Moav. David applied this trait when commanded to by HKB"H, during his reign as king and in his wars with the enemies of Am Yisrael. If David Hamelech would have been the king to wage war with Amalek and not Shaul, David Hamelech would have completed the task, as he will in the time of the Geulah.  

However, it is not only Mashiach ben David, there is a second Mashiach – Mashiach ben Yosef. 

The primary purpose of Mashiach ben Yosef, who will arrive prior to Mashiach ben David, is to wipe out Amalek. In the time of the Geulah he will do most of the job, but will be killed before he finishes. The remainder of the task will be completed by Mashiach ben David. 

The job of wiping out Amalek belongs to Yosef's descendants. Yosef's descendants are the nemesis of Eisav and his descendants, including Amalek, as it says וְהָיָה בֵית יַעֲקֹב אֵשׁ וּבֵית יוֹסֵף לֶהָבָה וּבֵית עֵשָׂו לְקַשׁ (עובדיה א, יח). In order to accomplish this task, Yosef's descendants will require a character trait of cruelty that is not indigenous to their DNA, it will have to be imported from an outside source.

This is where Dinah comes in. Dinah's destiny was to "go out", to marry someone of the ilk of Eisav, who possesses cruelty. By such a union, a child would be born who would have a combination of the DNA of Am Yisrael (Yaakov) and also the trait of cruelty necessary for Mashiach. However, Yaakov prevented that from happening by locking Dinah in a box.

HKB"H's plan cannot be thwarted and if it does not happen according to plan A, it will happen according to plan B. in a way the Satan least expects. Schem the son of Chamor and Dinah had a child – Osnat. The Twelve Tribes wanted to kill this "illegitimate" child, but Yaakov secreted her away. Yaakov hung a gold pendant around her neck with the name of HKB"H engraved on it and sent her away to Egypt, to the house of Potiphar. Osnat, daughter of Dinah eventually married Yosef and gave birth to two sons Ephraim and Menashe.  

Mashiach ben Yosef will be descended from Ephraim and will posses the native DNA of Yaakov Avinu and also the cruelty imported from Osnat's father, Schem the son of Chamor. 

When Am Yisrael waged war against Amalek in the Midbar, Moshe chose Yehoshua to lead this battle, Yehoshua was from the tribe of Ephraim (son of Yosef), the nemesis of Amalek. 

Dinah was one of a small group of women who were permitted, nay – required – to "go out", it was part of their character, part of their destiny and it was always related somehow to defeating Amalek. Another such woman was Esther Hamalka, who had to "go out" and marry a רָשַׁע, in order to ultimately defeat Amalek. 

Dinah's birth began in chessed and it ends in chessed, securing the lineage of Mashiach ben Yosef and the defeat of Israel's enemies. 

On a more contemporary note, one hears much criticism for various groups in Am Yisrael that are loosely labelled by a variety of stereotypes such as "bleeding heart liberals", "humanitarians", "leftists", etc. They care very much about human rights of all human beings, even the human rights of our enemies. They care very much about animal rights. They care very much about the environment, etc. It has become accepted custom, especially amongst "rightist" factions to "slam" these groups as "enemies" of Am Yisrael. There is only one problem – they are Am Yisrael. They possess the three hallmark DNA character traits of Am Yisrael, they are super רַחֲמָנִים, many of them also excel at being גּוֹמְלֵי חֲסָדִים. OK, very few of them are בַּיְשָׁנִים, quite the opposite. However, that is a problem with Am Yisrael in general, across all strata of the political, religious, social spectrum – we ALL need to work a lot more on our בַּיְשָׁנוּת, on being less arrogant and more humble. It is a malady of our age, פְּנֵי הַדּוֹר כִּפְנֵי הַכֶּלֶב. 

It is not surprising therefore that Israel cannot conclusively win a war against its enemies. It is not because we inevitably cow down to international pressure (although that certainly is a factor), but primarily because the vast majority of Am Yisrael are overly בַּיְשָׁנִים, רַחֲמָנִים, גּוֹמְלֵי חֲסָדִים. That is who we are, that is our DNA and there is no escaping it. 

What we are missing are leaders who have the DNA of Mashiach ben Yosef and Mashiach ben David, which combine the above three indigenous traits of Am Yisrael with the additional trait of cruelty, to be used when required, in the correct dose. Our leaders today do not possess that. Our current leaders more resemble Shaul, who lead according to popularity and opinion polls and not according to what is morally required – even if it seems cruel. 

The other nations in the world all possess the DNA of cruelty, they are severely lacking בַּיְשָׁנִים, רַחֲמָנִים, גּוֹמְלֵי חֲסָדִים. They hypocritically chastise us, the only nation in the world who truly has humanity built into our DNA, that we are behaving inhumanely against an inhumane enemy. Their own, much hyped and often touted "humanity" is only an illusion – smoke and mirrors. When their lives are on the line, they don't have a problem blanket bombing Dresden, nuclear bombing Hiroshima, invading Iraq and Afghanistan after their 9/11, wiping out ISIS when it is on their soil and sitting idly and silently by while hundreds of thousands of Syrians are killed in a civil war. However, they hypocritically will not tolerate the same behavior that they repeatedly engage in – from us.

This current war with Hamas is mamash a war with Amalek and unless we incorporate a dose of cruelty which is a prerequisite in such a war, we will lose. By being merciful to those who are cruel, we will eventually end up being cruel to those who are merciful, ourselves. By letting a monster deserving of the death penalty live, or releasing a convicted killer, we enable him to kill us again and again, in ever increasing numbers chas vechalila. By being merciful to those who support the monster and dish out sweets and confectionery in the streets every time a Jew is slaughtered, we are de facto capitulating with them in slaughtering us. In a war with Amalek, there is no middle ground, it is literally them or us. 

We have no leaders in office today of that caliber, who possess this required character trait of cruelty essential to ensure our survival. We do however, possess it within Am Yisrael itself - not the current leaders of government, not the military leaders, not the leaders of academia. We, Am Yisrael on the street, not the Am Yisrael reflected by the warped fringe media, have it and we need to force it upon our leaders, in the only way possible – by allowing them to remain in office only if they implement the will of the true Am Yisrael on the street, the Am Yisrael fighting and dying in Gaza, the Am Yisrael who have united and mobilized across the spectrum to help and support one another. We need to have, not an Arab Spring, but an Israeli Spring. We need to do a spring cleaning of our leadership across the entire spectrum, in every level of administration and if our current decrepit leadership and media show any signs of deviating from the will of Am Yisrael who yearns for the basic right of survival and will not accept another Holocaust ever again, we need to remove them from the stage, even in the middle of the war if need be. 

We desperately need to realign the leadership of Am Yisrael with the true Am Yisrael, not the fringe Am Yisrael. We desperately need to preserve the Divine wave of unity that is currently enveloping Am Yisrael and silence any and all who threaten it with all means possible and turn anyone who instigates strife and disunity into a pariah, including arresting them and putting them in jail. Any nation with a will to survive cannot tolerate extremists who seek to implode it from within and who align themselves with our enemies because of personal agendas, especially in the middle of a war.

Mostly we need to "change disks", as the Israelis say לְהַחֲלִיף דִּיסְקֶט. We all need to realize and understand what is truly going on here and Who is truly running the show (hint: it is not any leader whose name begins with a "B" - it is not the "ב" team currently running the show, it is the "א" team) and simply do our maximum hishtadlut to facilitate it. We need to start becoming a part of the solution and stop remaining part of the problem.  

We need to interact today with Eisav like Yaakov did back then when he met up again with Eisav who was mobilizing to kill him as he had promised (it was the same Eisav). Yaakov sent message to him "(Not so) Dear Eisav. וַיְהִי לִי, I now have שׁוֹר, Yosef, as it says בְּכוֹר שׁוֹרוֹ הָדָר לוֹ. I have חֲמוֹר, the imported cruelty DNA through Dinah/Osnat/Efraim necessary to ensure my survival. I also have חֲמוֹרוֹ שֶׁל מָשִׁיחַ in place, to light you up like straw, as it says וּבֵית יוֹסֵף לֶהָבָה וּבֵית עֵשָׂו לְקַשׁ. I have צֹאן, a strong vibrant, united nation of Am Yisrael with the will to live and I also have you Eisav as the עֶבֶד וְשִׁפְחָה as my father Yitzchak foretold, as it saysיַעַבְדוּךָ עַמִּים וְיִשְׁתַּחֲוּ לְךָ לְאֻמִּים הֱוֵה גְבִיר לְאַחֶיךָ".

Am Yisrael need to start behaving like the true and wonderful Am Yisrael we know and currently see that we are, at all levels, from top to bottom and every which way – and leave the rest up to the "א" team, וָאֶשְׁלְחָה לְהַגִּיד לַא-דֹנִי לִמְצֹא חֵן בְּעֵינֶיךָ.

 

 

Shabbat Shalom 

Eliezer Meir Saidel

Machon Lechem Hapanim