וְעַתָּה לֹא אַתֶּם שְׁלַחְתֶּם אֹתִי הֵנָּה כִּי הָאֱ-לֹקִים וַיְשִׂימֵנִי לְאָב לְפַרְעֹה וּלְאָדוֹן לְכָל בֵּיתוֹ וּמֹשֵׁל בְּכָל אֶרֶץ מִצְרָיִם. (בראשית מה, ח)
In this week's parsha we read about the historic reconciliation between Yosef and his brothers. The magnitude of this event cannot be overstated. Sefer Meir Panim brings that this act of unity was atonement for the sin of Adam and Chava and the נָחָשׁ הַקַּדְמוֹן, as it says in the passuk כִּי נַחֵשׁ יְנַחֵשׁ אִישׁ (בראשית מד, טו). It signaled the birth of Am Yisrael.
In the parshiyot Vayeishev, Mikeitz and Vayigash, the Torah describes the "blueprint" for reconciliation within Am Yisrael, the secret to reuniting the often diametrically opposed factions amongst us. In the troubled reality we are currently living through, it is highly recommended to explore these dynamics carefully to obtain a better understanding, the Torah approach, to achieving national reconciliation. Let us therefore embark on a voyage of exploration into the "anatomy of a reconciliation".
Reconciliation is the "happy end" to a dispute. In order to achieve it, one needs to understand the origins of the dispute. In the case of Yosef and his brothers, the key question to understanding the origin of the dispute revolves around a single question – "When did Yosef begin having his dreams?"
In parshat Vayeishev we read about Yosef's dream of the eleven stars, the sun and the moon bowing down to him. When Yaakov heard this dream, he confronted Yosef "How is it possible that your mother (the moon) will bow down to you, she is dead!" Rashi, quoting the Midrash (Breishit Rabba, 84, 11) says that the reference in the dream was not to Rachel, but to Bilha, who had raised Yosef like her own son. From this we learn that Yosef began having the dreams after Rachel had already passed away, in other words, after Yaakov had returned to Eretz Canaan.
The Targum Yonatan translates the passuk וַיֵּשֶׁב יַעֲקֹב בְּאֶרֶץ מְגוּרֵי אָבִיו בְּאֶרֶץ כְּנָעַן (בראשית לז, א), as follows - וִיתֵיב יַעֲקב בְּשַׁלְוִיתָא בְּאַרְעָא תּוֹתָבוּת אָבוּי בְּאַרְעָא דִכְנָעַן, that Yaakov settled peacefully in the land of his forefathers. The Midrash (Tanchuma, Vayeishev 1) says that every time the word וַיֵּשֶׁב is used, it is connected to צַעַר. R' Bachyei says that HKB"H was angry with Yaakov for wanting to "settle down". HKB"H said "Is it not enough for Tzaddikim what is promised to them in עוֹלָם הַבָּא that they want to settle down peacefully in this world as well?" Immediately following, we have the episode with Yosef and his brothers.
The question is "Is it such a bad thing to enjoy both worlds?" With Avraham we have the passuk וְאַבְרָהָם זָקֵן בָּא בַּיָּמִים וַה' בֵּרַךְ אֶת אַבְרָהָם בַּכֹּל (בראשית כד, א), that HKB"H blessed Avraham with "everything". Avraham was exceedingly wealthy, he was getting naches from his children and grandchildren (this was before Eisav began to sin) and he was enjoying a state of near Gan Eden here on earth, in addition to his rewards that he would still reap in עוֹלָם הַבָּא. There, nobody paints this in a negative light, like here with Yaakov. Later in parshat Vayechi, in Yaakov's final years, he was living in a similar idyllic situation and there are no criticisms of that either. So why davka here, when Yaakov returned to Eretz Yisrael and asked to settle down peacefully?
The answer is that when Avraham finally settled down peacefully, it was after he had fulfilled his purpose, his mission in life. Avraham had successfully passed all ten trials and had achieved his purpose as the first of the Avot. Similarly, Yaakov, after the Twelve Tribes had reconciled and were united, had also achieved his purpose. Under these circumstances it is acceptable to "settle down" and reap the rewards of your labor, both in this world and in the next. However, when Yaakov had just returned to Eretz Yisrael, the unity between his children had not yet been consolidated, he had not yet completed his mission. HKB"H said to Yaakov "You haven't yet finished the job and you want to take it easy?" and that is when all the problems began.
From this we see an interesting dynamic, both with Yaakov and his descendants, the future Am Yisrael.
Prior to וַיֵּשֶׁב Yaakov was living in a hostile environment, in the house of Lavan. During that time, we hear very little about the Twelve Tribes, Yaakov's sons, aside from the fact that they were born. If there was any "bad blood" already at that stage, the Torah would have mentioned it or given us a hint. The only episode mentioned was with Reuven and the דוּדָאִים, but that was not inter-sibling related, it was father and son related.
This reveals an interesting pattern that persisted throughout Am Yisrael's history. When Am Yisrael is living in a threatening environment and fighting for survival, the level of internal strife is minimized. However, whenever Am Yisrael achieves a state of (relative) peace and prosperity, it eventually results in internal strife. This dynamic is part and parcel of who we are, so much so that Moshe felt it necessary to warn us of it in his rebuke before he died, in parshat Haazinu. וַיִּשְׁמַן יְשֻׁרוּן וַיִּבְעָט (דברים לב, טו).
The origin of dispute between Yosef and his brothers stemmed from living in an "easy" environment, in luxurious wealth (Yaakov had 600,000 sheep dogs to tend his flocks), with no outside threats and not a care in the world. This would have been OK if the Twelve Tribes had already achieved their purpose, which was to unite as one and form the foundation for Am Yisrael. If that had been the case, they could have sat back and taken it easy. However, we see that they had not yet achieved that unity.
All of the Twelve Tribes were Tzaddikim and they all had powers of נְבוּאָה. They all had an understanding, an instinct of their role in the future Am Yisrael – Yehuda/monarchy, Levi/Kehuna, Dan/judges, Yissachar/Torah scholars, Zevulun/merchants etc. What they had not yet achieved, however, was an understanding of the fabric that united them as one integral unit.
This was the origin of the dispute. It stemmed from the misconception that the mission had already been achieved when it had not.
The second element that fueled this dispute was a misconception amongst some of the Tribes that they were more important than the others. We see from the passuk וַיָּבֵא יוֹסֵף אֶת דִּבָּתָם רָעָה אֶל אֲבִיהֶם (בראשית לז, ב), that one of the things that bothered Yosef (which he ran to tell his father) was that the sons of Leah were acting superior to the sons of the שְׁפָחוֹת, as if their future role in Am Yisrael was more important.
On a mundane level one might think that this phenomenon resulted from the brothers growing up in a "contentious" family, one father with four wives, one of whom he loved more than the rest. In such an environment psychologists will tell you that sibling rivalry is inevitable. However, it was much deeper than that. The Twelve Tribes were not regular people like you and me, they were of a stature that we cannot begin to imagine, with powers of prophecy that dictated their actions. For example, the sons of Leah saw that descended from Yosef would be יָרָבְעָם בֶּן נְבָט, who served idols and caused the split between the kingdoms of Yisrael and Yehuda in the time of Shlomo HaMelech. They saw that the descendants of Dan would repeatedly serve idols, like during the Exodus, when Dan travelled at the rear end of the camp (פסיקתא רבתי, פרשת זכור) and when they served פֶּסֶל מִיכָה (שופטים, יח), etc.
It was this "substantiated", albeit polarized, view that resulted in the sons of Leah drawing incorrect conclusions about their status in the future Am Yisrael. They developed the misconception that if Am Yisrael were to survive, they must segregate themselves from what they deemed were the "weaker elements" to not be dragged down by them. It was a misconception based on a misunderstanding of the mission statement – Am Yisrael is one unit, all Twelve Tribes and the fabric that binds us all is כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל עֲרֵבִים זֶה לָזֶה.
It is true that some of the tribes had a more prominent role to play in the future Am Yisrael, like Yehuda and Levi, but an integral part of that role was to lift up the "weaker" elements, help and support them. Moshe Rabbeinu understood this role when he repeatedly beseeched HKB"H to forgive the sins of Am Yisrael who had sinned. HKB"H "tempted" Moshe with the same misconception as the sons of Leah, the misconception of segregation "I will destroy all Am Yisrael and rebuild them from your (Moshe's) seed", וְעַתָּה הַנִּיחָה לִּי וְיִחַר אַפִּי בָהֶם וַאֲכַלֵּם וְאֶעֱשֶׂה אוֹתְךָ לְגוֹי גָּדוֹל (שמות לב, י). Unlike the brothers, Moshe never fell into the trap of the misconception. Moshe understood that the Twelve Tribes, Am Yisrael is an integral unit and their purpose is to do tikkun olam. If Am Yisrael were perfect, there would be no need for tikkun! Am Yisrael therefore are inherently imperfect, but we have the possibility to achieve perfection and that is our mission.
The sons of Leah did not yet fully comprehend this mission, they did not fully understand that this was their mission. This is why when Yosef went in search of his brothers in Schem, he was told וַיֹּאמֶר הָאִישׁ נָסְעוּ מִזֶּה (בראשית לז, יז), the brothers are "not on track" with the mission of זֶּה (in gematriya י"ב), the Twelve Tribes.
When someone develops a misconception, what the סַבָּא מִקֶלְם, Reb Simcha Zissel Ziv Broida zt”l, calls הַשְׁרָשָׁה רִאשׁוֹנָה, it assumes a "life" of its own and mutates far beyond the original misconception. Once the brothers had decided that this is how things were, it set them on a downward spiral that almost ended in disaster.
When someone is on the "right track" and achieving their intended purpose and mission, it is not only plain sailing. They often encounter obstacles (like Avraham with his ten trials), but despite the challenges, the general direction is positive - a vector of building, not tearing down.
As the brothers proceeded with their misconception, bad things happened, Yaakov went into mourning, Yehuda strayed from the path, etc. They saw these things happening in front of their eyes, they saw that it was a downward spiral, a vector of destruction, but the misconception that they had built up was so strong that it was inescapable. Even when Yosef revealed himself to his brothers, the Midrash (Tanchuma, Vayigash) says that they tried to kill him!
From this we see the terrible power of misconception, הַשְׁרָשָׁה רִאשׁוֹנָה and how difficult it is to shed and accept an alternative possibility. A misconception is not simply a thought process, it becomes part of your personality, your actions, your feelings – it defines you! To shed such a misconception is tantamount to destroying who you are (or have become).
The first step in dispelling a misconception is a feeling of remorse - the faint spark of realization that you may not be completely right. Usually this is triggered by an outside stimulus and does not develop independently from within.
When the brothers went down to Egypt to purchase food, Yosef imprisoned them all and said "One of you may return home to fetch Binyamin and prove you are telling the truth that you are not spies". Yosef was waiting for them to give him a name of the one who would be set free to return to Yaakov, but they did not oblige. According to the halacha if the goyim say "give us a name (or names) of the culprit(s) otherwise we will kill you all", it is forbidden to be מוֹסֵר נֶפֶשׁ מִיִּשְׂרָאֵל.
The brothers believed in the concept of מִדָּה כְּנֶגֶד מִדָּה. They saw their misfortune and tried to do introspection and analyze the reason for it, but they could not find a parallel for anything they had done that would result in all ten of them being imprisoned. Even selling Yosef - only nine of them were present at the sale – Reuven was back home. It was his turn to do כִּבּוּד אָב for Yaakov.
When Yosef saw that they would not give him a name, he changed his approach. "You may all return to fetch Binyamin except one. Give me the name of the one who will remain behind in prison!" Again, the brothers would not give a name (for the same halachic reason as above). Finally, Yosef said "OK, if you will not give me a name, I will choose a name myself. Shimon, you will remain in prison".
Halachically, if the goyim give you a specific name of a person to hand over otherwise everyone will be killed, it is permitted בְּדִיעֲבַד to hand the specified person over (רמב"ם הל' יסודי התורה, ה,ה). When the brothers heard Yosef select specifically Shimon, that was the trigger that sparked the beginnings of remorse and was the first time that they began connecting the dots.
Shimon! Why davka Shimon? Because it was Shimon and Levi (predominantly Shimon) who plotted to kill Yosef and subsequently sell him into slavery. Yes, the other nine brothers were complicit, but it was instigated primarily by Shimon. Now that is מִדָּה כְּנֶגֶד מִדָּה and something the brothers could relate to.
We then see the initial feelings of remorse. וַיֹּאמְרוּ אִישׁ אֶל אָחִיו אֲבָל אֲשֵׁמִים אֲנַחְנוּ עַל אָחִינוּ אֲשֶׁר רָאִינוּ צָרַת נַפְשׁוֹ בְּהִתְחַנְנוֹ אֵלֵינוּ וְלֹא שָׁמָעְנוּ עַל כֵּן בָּאָה אֵלֵינוּ הַצָּרָה הַזֹּאת (בראשית מב, כא). Not yet remorse for giving a psak din against Yosef for being a רוֹדֵף or a מוֹרֵד בְּמַלְכוּת, but rather for not having mercy on him when he pleaded with them.
The second time when they returned with Binyamin and Yosef rigged the whole episode of the גְּבִיעַ, we have a similar trigger. A repeat of the same scenario of abandoning a son of Rachel to slavery. Here again, it was impossible for the brothers to not connect the dots, the similarity was glaringly obvious.
Yehuda, unlike the previous time when Yosef was sold, first tried force. Perhaps if Yehuda had physically stood up to Shimon and Levi the first time with Yosef, the whole unfortunate episode would not have occurred. Yes, Shimon and Levi were strapping guys, but so too was Yehuda and Yehuda also had a "secret weapon", a hair on his chest that doubled as a spear! All of the Twelve Tribes possessed superhuman strength (they inherited from their father Yaakov, who moved the rock off the well on his own), it was not only Shimon and Levi. But Yosef was not intimidated by physical strength and vividly exhibited his own physical strength by raising his stone throne (weighing tons) and dashing it into smithereens on the floor.
Yehuda then resorted to the only recourse possible – he pleaded for mercy. Again, a closure of the circle of when Yosef had pleaded for mercy which his brothers ignored.
But what had changed here from the previous time?
This time Yehuda took responsibility for Binyamin. The previous time, Yehuda was too embroiled in his misconception to do that. The furthest he was willing to go was to mitigate, but not to rescind the misconceived sentence of segregating Yosef from the sons of Leah. Back then Yehuda had not yet understood the mission of all Twelve Tribes' mutual responsibility for each other, now he did.
This was the breaking point for Yosef and he could bear it no longer. He finally revealed himself to his brothers.
How did the reconciliation take place? It began with weeping. Yosef burst into tears. There are only two methods of communication that are universally understood – smiling and crying. When you smile at someone or you break down in tears in front of someone, they have no difficulty understanding what you mean – language is superfluous.
At first the brothers did not believe Yosef until he showed them his brit milah and said וְהִנֵּה עֵינֵיכֶם רֹאוֹת וְעֵינֵי אָחִי בִנְיָמִין כִּי פִי הַמְדַבֵּר אֲלֵיכֶם (בראשית מה, יב). When else in history was it possible to "see" the words being spoken? At Har Sinai וְכָל הָעָם רֹאִים אֶת הַקּוֹלֹת (שמות כ, יד). What was the common denominator between the two incidents? In both, the Twelve Tribes were united as one וַיִּחַן שָׁם יִשְׂרָאֵל נֶגֶד הָהָר (שמות יט, ב).
Then Yosef wept on his brother Binyamin's neck(s). This weeping was on two levels. The tears of joy at being reunited with his brother from his mother, but also weeping for the two future Batei Mikdash in Binyamin's territory that would be destroyed. Even though the Twelve Tribes had reconciled, seeds had already been planted for future sin'at chinam. The Mefarshim say that if Yosef would have held out a little longer (וְלֹא יָכֹל יוֹסֵף לְהִתְאַפֵּק) and let the brothers "stew" a little more, the seeds of sin'at chinam would have been totally eradicated and atoned for.
Finally, Yosef kissed all the remaining brothers and cried with them. Only then was the reconciliation complete and the brothers' misconception shattered.
If so, we have above the blueprint for reconciliation. To summarize –
· The origin of dispute in Am Yisrael follows premature prosperity
· Dispute is based on misconception of superiority and segregation
· Reconciliation begins with the spark of remorse
· Remorse is usually sparked by an outside trigger
· Reconciliation is achieved through tears
Most of the 1878 years following the destruction of the 2nd Beit HaMikdash, caused by the same seeds of sin'at chinam that were sown in the dispute between Yosef and his brothers, were typified by cruel persecution. Just like the Twelve Tribes (eleven actually) were not fighting with each other while still in Lavan's home, similarly Am Yisrael were not at odds with each other while they were being persecuted in the Diaspora.
When did the major rift in Am Yisrael begin in the Diaspora? In began during the period of the "Enlightenment" in the late 17th and 18th centuries. For the first time in thousands of years the Jews enjoyed relative peace and prosperity. For the first time in thousands of years Jews were allowed to trade freely, study in universities and become involved in government.
If Am Yisrael would have used that period of calm to further our "mission statement" - to unite as one, to return to Eretz Yisrael, become a sovereign nation, rebuild the Beit Hamikdash and do tikkun olam - then everything would have been fine and the prosperity would have been timely and well deserved, like it was with Avraham after the ten trials and with Yaakov after the Twelve Tribes had reconciled. Instead, this premature prosperity was used to create divisiveness in Am Yisrael. The Haskala/Reform movement became overly comfortable with the newfound prosperity, broke away from mainstream Judaism and strayed from the mission statement. The counter, Charedi movement was founded on the principle of segregation. Perhaps out of a feeling that separatism was the only way to preserve the "gem of Torah" and to keep it untainted. To some degree, also out of a feeling of intellectual and moral superiority to the rest of Am Yisrael and definitely lacking in כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל עֲרֵבִים זֶה לָזֶה.
Both movements were born out of a misconception. The Haskala/Reform movement was under the misconception that the only way to do tikkun olam was to live in and amongst the goyim, endear ourselves to them and convince them to the Jewish way of thinking. Paradoxically it had the reverse effect, it exploded into antisemitism and resulted in the Holocaust. The Charedi movement was under the misconception that tikkun olam was achievable by segregation, by continuing to live in the Diaspora in separatist enclaves, instead of working together as one nation trying to achieve the entire mission statement, not only the Torah part, but also to strive to achieve our destiny as a sovereign nation in Eretz Yisrael, rebuilding the Beit Hamikdash. Paradoxically to the belief that separatism was their protection, the vast majority of the Charedi European community was also wiped out in the Holocaust. It was the same pattern of Yosef and the brothers, a downward spiral, on a vector of destruction.
Instead of working together as a nation with mutual עַרְבוּת, some of the brothers working to establish a physical sovereign homeland in Eretz Yisrael, and the other brothers working to inject that homeland with soul, the Jewish soul and morality of the Torah - each diverged on their own individual tangent. The predominantly secular movement to establish Eretz Yisrael rejected the mission statement of the Torah and the Charedi movement rejected the mission statement of returning to Eretz Yisrael. Each erroneously believed that only their way would accomplish the mission.
There had always been a small population of Torah communities in Eretz Yisrael, since the destruction of Bayit Sheini, but these were swamped by an influx of secular Haskala/Reform Jews in the late 18th and early 19th centuries. It was these secular Jews that drained the swamps, built settlements … that resulted in the State of Israel.
The outside trigger that assaulted the two misconceptions was the Holocaust. This was the beginning of the sparks of remorse and reconciliation and was born out of tears for 6 million dead. However, they remained only sparks. The misconceptions on both sides were so deeply entrenched that they could not easily be shed.
This situation continued for another 75 years with each side firmly entrenched in their misconceptions. Meanwhile a new, hybrid movement sprang up, based on the premise that you could reconcile the two rival Charedi and secular factions, the National/Religious movement. The flagship of this movement was to achieve the entire mission statement – both the Torah part and the Eretz Yisrael part. Paradoxically, this movement was shunned both by the secular and by the Charedi movements.
Despite this unhealthy dynamic between the Twelve Tribes, the virtue of Am Yisrael in our own land has had its effect and all the three movements have prospered, independently. The secular movement has established a thriving economy, military and civil society (making sure to cling to key positions of power). The Charedi movement has expanded exponentially due to the disproportional birth rate and has established a thriving Torah world of Yeshivas and lomdei Torah, unprecedented in almost 2000 years. The National/Religious movement has expanded the Jewish settlement in Eretz Yisrael, well beyond the 1948 borders.
If we would have embraced this prosperity to all unite in achieving the mission statement of Am Yisrael, things would have been fine. Instead, we abused it to perpetuate the misconceptions and the disputes, erupting recently in a wave of sin'at chinam unprecedented since the destruction of Bayit Sheini.
Only a mere two months ago, the National/Religious government was gouging out the eyes of the secular movement with the proposed judicial reform. Only a mere two months ago, the residents of the secular Kibbutzim around Gaza and Tel Aviv refused to shed a tear over Jews being killed in a new wave of violence in Yehuda and Shomron. Quite the contrary, they were actively trying to demonize their brothers in Yehuda and Shomron. Only a mere two months ago Charedim were attacking Jewish soldiers who mistakenly entered their neighborhoods in uniform. The climax of this downward spiral occurred on Yom Kippur, when the last vestige of anything sacred evaporated following violent clashes over Yom Kippur minyanim in Tel Aviv.
Then on the 7th of October 2023 Am Yisrael received another "outside trigger", another mini-Holocaust. Not on the same scale numerically, but definitely on the same scale in terms of consciousness and the worldwide aftermath. The misconceptions are being challenged. Again, the sparks of remorse have been rekindled and the possibility of reconciliation is in the air.
How can we make sure this time it will lead to the much yearned for, complete reconciliation? Through tears.
We are living through a period of tears, every day more tears. Incredibly, all the differences and the misconceptions of pre-6th of October have paled in the shadow of the flood of tears – for the fallen soldiers, for the slain hostages and those who are still alive (barely) and suffering in Gaza.
Words cannot achieve reconciliation. Words right now are only detrimental. The less we use words now the better. We need only one language right now, the universal language of tears. Each of us, regardless of which movement we are affiliated with, need to shed profuse tears together with the rest of Am Yisrael, on their shoulders, at their funerals, at their shiva houses, with the families of the hostages still in Gaza, at their homes, in the streets. Only a flood of tears can wipe away the Al Aqsa flood and bring about national reconciliation - a renewed feeling of belonging, not to some sectorial faction, but to a greater whole that is larger than the individual parts.
This reconciliation will bring us to a deeper understanding of לֹא אַתֶּם שְׁלַחְתֶּם אֹתִי הֵנָּה כִּי הָאֱ-לֹקִים and will bring us closer to achieving our mission statement as a nation, once again united as one at the foot of the mountain.
Shabbat Shalom
Eliezer Meir Saidel
Machon Lechem Hapanim
To subscribe to this weekly Parshat Hashavua, send an email with the subject Subscribe to machonlechemhapanim@gmail.com
To unsubscribe, send an email with the subject Unsubscribe to machonlechemhapanim@gmail.com
To view previous shiurim, go to - www.showbreadinstitute.org/Parshat-Hashavua
If you would like to dedicate a shiur in someone’s memory or for refuah, etc., please email machonlechemhapanim@gmail.com with the details.
No comments:
Post a Comment