UK Prime Minister Der Stürmer Vows to Restore Britain's Lost Honor
"Palestine was never lost!"
Rule Britannia!
He of benighted knighthood, Der Stürmer, claimed yesterday in a BBC interview that the “greatest days of Britain still lie ahead of her” and the restoration of empire is not “some fanciful romantic daydream.”
Amid reports that the UK will recognize a Palestinian state, the British head of state implied that a global Islamic caliphate, centered in London, was “not at all beyond the realm of possibility.”
“Palestine is the first step,” he said, “in our effort to appease both those at home and abroad who still view the British Isles as a bastion of colonialism and Islamophobia.
“With Palestine,” he averred, “we will set things aright!”
Taking his cue, Foreign Secretary David Lammy wasted no time in announcing £3 million… to provide midwives and emergency medical supplies for new mothers in Gaza.
“We are following the lead of our Pharaonic forebears,” said Lammy, adding: “one way or another, we will regain all our former dominions.”
Pushback from the Jewish community was swift and robust, with one deli owner from the Midlands promising a large vat of boiling oil to turn Sir Stürmer into the world’s longest chain of knockwurst.
“Revenge, wot! For wot he said on the campaign!”
One Caliphate, One Gawd — and Der Stürmer is his prophet.
How do you like your leaders, Heinz…?
May the sun never set on the British Caliphate...
Best,
Dean Maughvet
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