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06 December 2024

Eliezer Meir Saidel: Accompaniment – Vayeitzei

 

Accompaniment – Vayeitzei


וַיַּחֲלֹם וְהִנֵּה סֻלָּם מֻצָּב אַרְצָה וְרֹאשׁוֹ מַגִּיעַ הַשָּׁמָיְמָה וְהִנֵּה מַלְאֲכֵי אֱ-לֹקִים עֹלִים וְיֹרְדִים בּוֹ  (בראשית כח, יב). 

וְיַעֲקֹב הָלַךְ לְדַרְכּוֹ וַיִּפְגְּעוּ בוֹ מַלְאֲכֵי אֱ-לֹקִים (בראשית לב, ב).

 

In the beginning of the parsha, after Yaakov departed from Eretz Yisrael and entered Charan, he had the dream of the ladder. In this dream, he saw angels ascending and descending. Rashi (ibid.) says that the ascending angels were angels of Eretz Yisrael who accompanied Yaakov to the border. 

The descending angels were angels to accompany him while he was in חוּץ לָאָרֶץ. Similarly, 20 years later, at the end of our parsha, when Yaakov returns to Eretz Yisrael, we have a similar switching of angels. In other words, Yaakov had the constant accompaniment of angels.

 

In this shiur I would like to explore the mitzva of לִוּוּי, "accompaniment", a very important and deeply profound mitzva.

 

We learn about the mitzva of accompaniment, from Avraham Avinu.  The passuk says וַיִּטַּע אֶשֶׁל בִּבְאֵר שָׁבַע (בראשית כא, לג), that Avraham established a roadside "inn" in Be'er Sheva. The word אֶשֶׁל is rashei teivot for אֲכִילָה שְׁתִיָּה and there are two opinions what the ל stands for - either לִינָה (סוטה י, ע"א) or לְוָיָה (מדרש תהילים קי).

 

The Rambam (הלכות אבל יד, ב) says שְׂכַר הַלְוָיָה מְרֻבֶּה מִן הַכֹּל וְהוּא הַחֹק שֶׁחֲקָקוֹ אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ וְדֶרֶךְ הַחֶסֶד שֶׁנָּהַג בָּהּ מַאֲכִיל עוֹבְרֵי דְּרָכִים וּמַשְׁקֶה אוֹתָן וּמְלַוֶּה אוֹתָן. וּגְדוֹלָה הַכְנָסַת אוֹרְחִים מֵהַקְבָּלַת פְּנֵי שְׁכִינָה שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר וַיַּרְא וְהִנֵּה שְׁלֹשָׁה אֲנָשִׁים וְלִוּוּיָם יוֹתֵר מֵהַכְנָסָתָן. אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים כָּל שֶׁאֵינוֹ מְלַוֶּה כְּאִלּוּ שׁוֹפֵךְ דָּמִים.

 

According to the Rambam, the most spiritually elevated component of the mitzva of הַכְנָסַת אוֹרְחִים is accompaniment and someone who does not accompany his guests when they leave, it is as if he "killed them". We learn this from the Gemara (סוטה מו, ע"ב) regarding the sugya of עֶגְלָה עֲרוּפָה, discovering a dead body in the open space between two cities. The Gemara says that the reason the person died in the שֶׁטַח הֶפְקֵר, was because he was not adequately accompanied and therefore the two cities in closest proximity share culpability.

 

It may seem strange to us that the לִוּוּי component is so important and serious. One would think that giving a guest the best food, waiting on him and making him feel comfortable at the table are more important. However, consider it from a different perspective. Often someone hosts a guest because he feels obliged to do so, out of a feeling of obligation to perform a mitzva, or out of sympathy when he sees someone without food or lodging. 

Therefore, during the אֵרוּחַ the guest cannot be totally certain if his host is hosting him with pure שִׂמְחָה or because it is out of a feeling of obligation. However, if the host accompanies his guest after the guest has been wined and dined, after the mitzva of אֵרוּחַ is over, this is a sign that the hosting was from pure שִׂמְחָה, that the host was so filled with joy at having his guest as company, that he has difficulty in parting from him. This is why לִוּוּי is the most important part, because it is לִפְנִים מִשּׁוּרַת הַדִּין.

 

Even if the accompaniment of a guest is done for altruistic reasons, there is always the faint possibility that somewhere in the back of our minds we may have some ulterior motive for doing so, perhaps hoping one day for reciprocation. There is one kind of accompaniment, however, that is totally pure, with no ulterior motives. This is accompanying a נִפְטַר to their grave, לְוָיַת הַמֵּת. This is the ultimate chessed that one human can do for another, because there are no chances of reciprocation.

 

In the case of עֶגְלָה עֲרוּפָה the lack of accompaniment is literally like committing murder. You sent your guest on his way without the appropriate physical protection. However, in reference to not accompanying a guest who you simply invite for a meal, it doesn't mean that you have literally "killed him", but rather that you have "embarrassed" him. 

A guest who leaves without accompaniment may feel embarrassment - that you did not accompany him because you were not happy to host him and just wanted to be rid of him. That is equivalent to מַלְבִּין פְּנֵי חֲבֵרוֹ, which is tantamount to murder.

 

The Rambam (ibid.) defines how far one should accompany his guest, הָרַב לְתַלְמִיד עַד עִבּוּרָהּ שֶׁל עִיר, וְהָאִישׁ לַחֲבֵרוֹ עַד תְּחוּם שַׁבָּת, וְהַתַּלְמִיד לָרַב עַד פַּרְסָה, וְאִם הָיָה רַבּוֹ מֻבְהָק עַד שָׁלשׁ פַּרְסָאוֹת. A Rav should accompany his student until the city limit. A regular person to another regular person, until the edge of the תְּחוּם שַׁבָּת, which is a מִיל, i.e 1km. A student should accompany his Rav up to a פַּרְסָה, which is 2km. A student should accompany his רַב מֻבְהָק, (i.e his mentor, the Rav from whom he learned most of his Torah) 6km.

 

According to most of the poskim, the reality that existed in the time of the Gemara and the Rambam is no longer the reality today and the distances are reduced accordingly.

 

According to the sefer Be'er Sheva, one of the Acharonim (1550-1623, Poland), the roads are more dangerous "today" (in the 1600's) than before (what would he say about road safety in תשפ"ה?) and therefore the distance a host must accompany his guest is reduced because the host is not obligated to endanger his life unnecessarily to accompany his guest. 

Other poskim, like the Aruch HaShulchan (1884), say the opposite, that the roads are much safer today than in the time of the Gemara and the Rambam and therefore the accompaniment for safety reasons is less relevant.

 

The halacha (סמ"ע, חושן משפט תכז, יא) is that at the very least, a host should accompany his guest four amot (2m), past the front door (some are makpid to accompany 2m from the front gate leading into רְשׁוּת הָרַבִּים).

 

It is very nice that Chazal and the Mefarshim attribute the source of this mitzva to Avraham Avinu, but that is not 100% true, it began 1948 years before Avraham Avinu, in Gan Eden.

 

HKB"H, after He created Adam HaRishon, said לֹא טוֹב הֱיוֹת הָאָדָם לְבַדּוֹ אֶעֱשֶׂה לּוֹ עֵזֶר כְּנֶגְדּוֹ (בראשית ב, יח). It is not good for a man to walk alone, he should have accompaniment, and HKB"H created Chava to accompany Adam.

 

As Shlomo HaMelech said –

 

טוֹבִים הַשְּׁנַיִם מִן הָאֶחָד אֲשֶׁר יֵשׁ לָהֶם שָׂכָר טוֹב בַּעֲמָלָם. כִּי אִם יִפֹּלוּ הָאֶחָד יָקִים אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ וְאִילוֹ הָאֶחָד שֶׁיִּפּוֹל וְאֵין שֵׁנִי לַהֲקִימוֹ. גַּם אִם יִשְׁכְּבוּ שְׁנַיִם וְחַם לָהֶם וּלְאֶחָד אֵיךְ יֵחָם. (קהלת ט, י-יא)

 

HKB"H did not create humans to walk alone. Accompaniment is a cornerstone of Creation. When humans "accompany" each other, look out for each other and are happy in each other's company, that builds a stable society. Separatism is not a Torah concept.


"Hang on!" you may be saying, "What about what it says in the Torah הֵן עָם לְבָדָד יִשְׁכֹּן (במדבר כג, ט), that Am Yisrael are commanded to separate themselves from other nations and dwell alone? Isn't that separatism?"


There are two types of separatism. The first kind is when you separate from someone and couldn't care less what happens to them. The second type of separatism is when you deeply care about someone, but separate from them - in order to elevate yourself so that you can lift them up.

 

Am Yisrael are the second kind. We accompany the rest of humanity at a higher spiritual level, in an attempt to lift humanity up, to be an אוֹר לַגּוֹיִים. It troubles us deeply (or it should) when disasters happen to other nations, even our greatest enemies. This is the lesson of Yonah HaNavi.

 

The chiddush of this week's parsha is that not only should man be accompanied by his fellow man, but that each of us, not only Yaakov Avinu, is accompanied by angels. This is the reason we sing Shalom Aleichem upon returning home on Friday night, to bid farewell to the angels who accompanied us home from shul. Our parsha teaches us that when one set of angels leaves, another set of angels takes their place. When we enter our homes, there is another set of angels waiting there to take over. In fact, there are always angels accompanying us, wherever we are. 

Not only are we surrounded by protective angels, angels are part and parcel of us. The passuk says עֹשֶׂה מַלְאָכָיו רוּחוֹת מְשָׁרְתָיו אֵשׁ לֹהֵט (תהילים קד,ד), HKB"H's work is done by angels and many of these angels are physical elements and processes in nature. Everything that makes our bodies work, synapses in our nerves, blood flowing through our veins, our endocrine systems, our hearts beating, etc. these are all angels of HKB"H making sure that everything works.

 

Not only are we surrounded by angels and made up of angels, we are ourselves angels. HKB"H sends each neshama, each of us, as messengers down here to Olam HaZeh to accomplish some specific mission. An angel is not necessarily a creature with a halo around his head and wings. 

The essence of an angel is that he is a messenger on a mission from G-d (yes, like the Blues' Brothers, lehavdil). The word מַלְאָךְ means both angel and messenger, because they are one and the same.

 

This is what it says in Pirkei Avot אַל תְּהִי בָּז לְכָל אָדָם, וְאַל תְּהִי מַפְלִיג לְכָל דָּבָר. שֶׁאֵין לְךָ אָדָם שֶׁאֵין לוֹ שָׁעָה, וְאֵין לְךָ דָּבָר שֶׁאֵין לוֹ מָקוֹם (אבות ד, ג). Every part of Creation is a messenger, an angel of HKB"H put here for a specific purpose. We should therefore not belittle anyone or anything. There is no person who is here for no reason and there is no object that is where or how it is, for no reason.

 

There is a famous Midrash (מדרש אלפא ביתא דבן סירא) brought by the חיד"א. Before David HaMelech became king, he was sitting in his garden and he saw a wasp sting a spider. Perplexed by the scene, David asked HKB"H "What is the purpose of such creatures? 

The wasp does not make honey, it kills the bees who make honey. The spider spins webs day and night but cannot spin cloth that can be worn?" HKB"H answered "The day will come when you will appreciate these 'worthless' creatures".

 

Later when David became king and was fleeing the wrath of Shaul, he sought refuge in a cave. While he was hiding there a spider spun a web over the opening of the cave. A short time after, Shaul and his men passed the cave, but seeing the web covering the opening, they thought that nobody was inside and departed. David approached the spider and thanked it.

 

In another incident, David infiltrated Shaul's camp to show how poor the security was there. He entered Shaul's tent and found Shaul and his general Avner ben Ner sleeping there. David reached out to take Shaul's water skin. As he did so, Avner turned over in his sleep and trapped David with his heavy legs. 

Suddenly a wasp appeared and stung Avner, causing him to move his feet off David, and thus David managed to escape undetected. David thanked the wasp and said "HKB"H, never again will I question your creations".

 

Some of HKB"H's messengers are here for a brief, solitary instant to fulfil their mission, others remain for longer.

 

Not only are we accompanied by angels, but HKB"H Himself accompanies us at all times. Just as our physical bodies comprise different angels / messengers, we also have HKB"H within every single part of us. At our very core lies the צֶלֶם אֱ-לֹקִים with which HKB"H created us.

This is reflected at every level, starting at the gross anatomical level, descending to the cellular level, the molecular level, the atomic level, etc., stretching to the infinity that is HKB"H. Many of the patterns in these levels repeat and echo structures in the Beit HaMikdash. 

I have a lecture called The Mikdash Within Us (available on our Youtube channel) that reveals these patterns on a cellular level. HKB"H is infinity and as such also permeates His entire Creation. This is what is known as הַשְׁגָּחָה פְּרָטִית.

 

When one understands this, it is ridiculous to imagine that HKB"H is not watching us, or hearing us. There is nowhere we can run or hide beyond the reach of HKB"H, because He is inside us and with us wherever we are. As it says דַּע מַה לְּמַעְלָה מִמְּךָ, עַיִן רוֹאָה וְאֹזֶן שׁוֹמַעַת, וְכָל מַעֲשֶׂיךָ בַּסֵּפֶר נִכְתָּבִין (אבות ב, א). 

No generation can better conceptualize this than our generation, where satellites, ubiquitous CCTV cameras, cellphones, etc. see, hear and track everything that we do.

 

If we live with the understanding that HKB"H is constantly with us, watching us and also watching over us, it makes it difficult to sin. Some try to delude themselves into thinking that He is not. They repress reality, sometimes to such a degree that HKB"H no longer features in their consciousness. It is a delusion, however, because HKB"H is still there, they just refuse to see Him. HKB"H is always there, waiting for them to find their way back to Him.

 

Our yetzer hara sometimes plays tricks on us, trying to make us think that HKB"H has abandoned us, or is hiding from us. Such a thing is impossible, because HKB"H is in every part of us. How can we abandon or hide from ourselves? The yetzer harah does this to create despair, that we will forsake HKB"H and the Torah.

 

It is like a father carrying his son on his shoulders. Every two minutes the child asks his father to purchase him something else – a soda, a candy bar, a hamburger, an ice cream, etc. and each time his father gladly does so. A little while later the son on his father's shoulders sees another man and he asks him "Excuse me, have you seen my father?" 

The father is indignant "What? I have carried you all this time, given you everything you want and now you don't see me?" The father takes the child off his shoulders and places him on the ground. Immediately a dog races up and bites the child.

 

This is the mashal Rashi gives (Shmot 17, 8), just after Am Yisrael reached Refidim and were attacked by Amalek. The Father has always been there and is still there, whether you want to admit it or not. Sometimes it is necessary to give the "child" a prod, so that he remembers.

 

Such a mindset is very sobering on the one hand, but also extremely comforting on the other. It means we are not alone - we are never alone. I am not referring to the possibility of the existence of extra-terrestrials, I am referring to the absolute certain existence of intra-terrestrials, within each and every one of us.

 

If HKB"H accompanies us at all times, sends angels to accompany us at all times - then it is understandable why He demands the same from us. That we accompany our fellow man, that we exhibit the same שִׂמְחָה in the company of our fellow man as He exhibits toward us.

 

Today, לְמַעֲשֶׂה, we all have the opportunity of performing this mitzva of לִוּוּי אוֹרְחִים and being mehader on the mitzva. The way to do it most simply – is offering a hitchhiker a ride in your car. If you know of or see someone looking for a ride, inviting them to ride with you is perfect הַכְנָסַת אוֹרְחִים and if you do it with שִׂמְחָה  and are willing to go the "extra mile", going a little out of you way to bring them closer to their destination – that is the essence of the mitzva of לִוּוּי. 

It is practically on the same level of the ultimate chessed - לְוָיַת הַמֵּת, because the chances you are ever going to see that hitchhiker again are slim to none and the possibility of reciprocation from them almost non-existent.

 

This is the fabric on which a successful society is built.

 

 

Shabbat Shalom

 

Eliezer Meir Saidel

Machon Lechem Hapanim

www.machonlechemhapanim.org

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