Chumros Anyone

OP-ED: ANYONE THAT EVER SPENT PESACH AS A GUEST KNOWS THAT IT IS NOTHING CLOSE TO A FESTIVAL OF FREEDOM. THE AMOUNT OF 'CHUMROS' PILED UP IN SOME FRUM HOMES AMOUNTS TO PHARAOH'S DECREES IN ANCIENT EGYPT. [EDITED]

This was posted as commentary on COLive [and i post it here tongue in cheek, as we know that all chumros/minhagim are revered k'halacha until Moshiach comes to clarify and elucidate].

Anyone that ever spent Pesach as a guest - by grandparents, parents, parents-in-law, siblings, friends - knows that it is nothing close to a festival of freedom. The amount of 'chumros' piled up in orthodox and frum homes amounts to Pharaoh's decrees in ancient Egypt. At a Shabbos Chol Hamoed meal this year, for instance, the plastic tablecloth was removed and swapped for a new one after Kiddush (because they made Kiddush). After washing hands and eating Matzah, they changed it again (because they eat Matzos). Only after a Matzah-free environment the meal was served.

What has happened is that any slightest doubt of 'hidur' or Chumra turns into validated and certain Chometz. What has also happened is that at a time when we are meant to celebrate and educate ("V'Higadta L'Bincha"), we occupy ourself in negative words like: forbidden, prohibited, not allowed, banned, .... At times you will hear the word (shouted) Chometz more often then Matzah or Pesach. Spouses, children and guest often can feel in distress at a holiday that is about being free.

In a much discussed essay published on COLlive:

Rabbi Yosef Heller, respected member of the Crown Heights Bais Din and Rosh Kollel Menachem, is taking the many 'Pesach Chumros' to task. "A Chumra needs a source and it should not be at the expense of Shalom Bayis," he says. [Based on a talk given by Rabbi Yosef Heller. Transcribed by Agudas Avreichei Lubavitch of Kolel Menachem]

Many people are more stringent during Pesach than throughout the year; nonetheless, certain priorities must take precedence. Oft times, due to ignorance or unawareness, one is scrupulous in keeping a hiddur yet careless with halacha mandated in Shulchan Aruch.

There is a saying from the Gerrer rebbe, the Beis Yisroel, concerning this issue. It is written in Shulchan Aruch that many have the custom not to eat nuts during Aseres Yimei Teshuvah, for the word אגוז (nut) has the same gematria as חא (sin). The Beis Yisroel brings ... [omitted, as the gematria does not add up. maybe someone knows the exact quote.] 

MACHLOKES FORBIDDEN LIKE CHOMETZ 

In Sefarim it is written, that the same way excessive measures are taken in eliminating all chometz (each with his own chumros), so too all means of removing behaviors of anger, conflict, and opposition must be employed. Just like chometz, these are forbidden, even in the slightest form. [continuation of very interesting lengthy discussion is here.