וַיְדַבֵּר ה' אֶל מֹשֶׁה בְּמִדְבַּר סִינַי בְּאֹהֶל מוֹעֵד בְּאֶחָד לַחֹדֶשׁ הַשֵּׁנִי בַּשָּׁנָה הַשֵּׁנִית לְצֵאתָם מֵאֶרֶץ מִצְרַיִם לֵאמֹר (במדבר א, א)
Sefer Bamidbar is a very "strange" sefer. Unlike the other four sefarim of the Chumash, Bamidbar seems to have no clear, definitive central theme, except that it talks about Am Yisrael - בַּמִּדְבָּר. But most of sefer Shmot and all of Vayikra also speak about Am Yisrael בַּמִּדְבָּר, so what makes this sefer different? Even the name of the sefer is not really definitive. We call it sefer Bamidbar, when in fact the word in the first passuk upon which this derivation is based is actually Bemidbar, not Bamidbar.
This already hints to us that sefer Bamidbar is something of a conundrum. The fact that we call it Bamidbar is a little derogatory actually, because if we would call it sefer Bemidbar Sinai (it's real name), at least that would be a reference to Matan Torah. "Bamidbar" seems to be "unaffiliated" - "in the desert", like wandering around aimlessly in the desert with no affiliation.
Sefer Bamidbar is also uncharacteristic in terms of the number of mitzvot that appear there. Sefer Breishit deals with the reality before the Torah was given and before the Nation of Israel was born, so it is understandable that in the entire sefer Breishit, we only have three mitzvot (פְּרוּ וּרְבוּ, בְּרִית מִילָה, גִּיד הַנָּשֶׁה). Of the four sefarim after we received the Torah and became a nation, Bamidbar has the least number of mitzvot. Here are the stats – Shmot 111, Vayikra 247, Bamidbar 52, Devarim 200.
In the Gemara (שבת קטו, ע"ב), Rebi says that sefer Bamidbar is actually divided into three separate sub-sefarim. The first "sub-sefer" is from Bamidbar to the middle of Beha'alotcha, to the passuk וַיְהִי בִּנְסֹעַ הָאָרֹן (במדבר י, לה). The passuk וַיְהִי בִּנְסֹעַ הָאָרֹן itself (enclosed in reversed letters "nun"), is a separate (second) "sub-sefer", and after that passuk, the remainder of sefer Bamidbar, until the end of Mas'ei, is the third "sub-sefer".
Obviously, there is a lot more depth to this subdivision, but purely from a "content" perspective, we see a distinct shift in the content after the passuk וַיְהִי בִּנְסֹעַ הָאָרֹן. Until that passuk most of the psukkim dealt with positive things (with the exception of the parsha of the Sotah). Following וַיְהִי בִּנְסֹעַ הָאָרֹן, however, there is a small "smattering" of positive content (like hafrashat challah, temidin and musafim, ma'aser and truma), but the vast majority of the content is negative in the extreme.
The first passuk after וַיְהִי בִּנְסֹעַ הָאָרֹן talks about the מִתְאֹנְנִים, and it degenerates from there, to the spies, Korach, Mei Meriva, Balak, Ba'al Pe'or, the journeys (and backtracking) in the desert. It is like a sefer of "dirty laundry", that makes us uncomfortable and perhaps wish it hadn't appeared in the Torah at all.
In this shiur I would like to explore the hidden essence of sefer Bamidbar and show how it reflects a process of rebirth.
We in fact have four processes of "birth" in the Chumash.
The first birth is that of Adam HaRishon in parshat Breishit. We read how HKB"H created Adam HaRishon and Chava בְּצֶלֶם אֱ-לֹקִים. Adam, the pinnacle of Creation, sinned and was diminished. Adam's neshama was fragmented and scattered over the entire world and time.
This resulted in the necessity of a second birth, Avraham Avinu, the original purpose for which the world was created - אֵלֶּה תוֹלְדוֹת הַשָּׁמַיִם וְהָאָרֶץ בְּהִבָּרְאָם (בראשית ב, ד). The Midrash (בראשית רבה יב, ח) says don't read it as הִבָּרְאָם but as אַבְרָהָם.
The third birth is when HKB"H sent Moshe and Aharon to lead Am Yisrael out of Egypt, וּמֹשֶׁה בֶּן שְׁמֹנִים שָׁנָה וְאַהֲרֹן בֶּן שָׁלֹשׁ וּשְׁמֹנִים שָׁנָה בְּדַבְּרָם אֶל פַּרְעֹה (שמות ז, ז). At Har Sinai Moshe Rabbeinu, who is called מְחֹקֵק סָפוּן (דברים לג, כא), brought down the Torah. Am Yisrael were reborn and the Creation was reset to its state before Adam HaRishon sinned.
Following Matan Torah, however, Am Yisrael sinned with the egel, which necessitated a fourth birth, Am Yisrael's wandering for forty years בַּמִּדְבָּר before they could enter Eretz Yisrael.
We see the umbilical connection between these four birth processes from the wondrous gematria of 248, which is - בְּצֶלֶם אֱ-לֹקִים, אַבְרָהָם, בְּדַבְּרָם, מְחֹקֵק and … בַּמִּדְבָּר.
The gematria of בַּמִּדְבָּר is also רֶחֶם, meaning womb. Am Yisrael's wanderings in the desert were equivalent to a rebirth. According to the Torah the birth process results from something called סִרָחוֹן, as it says מֵאַיִן בָּאתָ, מִטִּפָּה סְרוּחָה (אבות ג, א). What does this mean?
R' Shneur Zalman of Liadi, the first Lubavitche Rebbe, the Ba'al HaTania (ליקוטי אמרים א, לא) explains it as a sequence of פְּשִׁיטַת צוּרָה וּלְבִישַׁת צוּרָה. In order for life to perpetuate, you need a continuous cycle of "shedding form" and "assuming form". Take, for example, planting a seed. When you plant a seed in the ground, the outer layers of the seed decay and are "shed" to reveal the inner essence of the seed which then miraculously "assumes a new form", it sprouts roots and grows into the new plant. If not for this process of סִרָחוֹן, the seed would remain lifeless, dormant and would eventually die. Only by being exposed to a "hostile" environment that strips away the tough, outer layers of the seed, is continuation of life ensured.
Rebirth is only necessary when the inner essence has become masked, encased in a tough outer coating that separates it from the truth. When a person (or a nation) sins, they become covered in such tough outer layers, called קְלִפּוֹת which form barriers between them and HKB"H. To reestablish the direct, uninhibited connection, these outer layers must be shed by סִרָחוֹן, being allowed to decay, disintegrate and vanish.
[Aside: This is why, according to Meir Panim, the Lechem HaPanim, which comes to atone for Adam and Chava's sin, require a process of סִרָחוֹן to achieve a thickness of one tefach].
After Adam and Chava sinned it required 20 generations (ten from Adam to Noach and another ten from Noach to Avraham). Generations of debauchery and sin, that had to "de-generate" before the inner essence – Avraham Avinu - could be revealed and be reborn.
Avraham set into motion the process of rebirth that culminated in the 12 Tribes of Israel – his great grandchildren, all born of pure stock, without any of the קְלִפּוֹת that remained from Adam HaRishon's sin. Had the brothers themselves not sinned, they would have received the Torah directly and become Am Yisrael – in Eretz Yisrael.
However, since they sinned by selling Yosef, וַיּוֹסִפוּ עוֹד שְׂנֹא אֹתוֹ (בראשית לז, ח), erecting barriers between them and HKB"H, they necessitated a further rebirth – in Egypt. The gematria of 248 is וַיּוֹסִפוּ עוֹד.
To remove the tough outer קְלִפּוֹת that resulted from this sin required the 12 Tribes being "planted" in the hostile environment that was Egypt, the world center for debauchery and decay, to shed these קְלִפּוֹת and return to their inner essence. They achieved this at Har Sinai. At Har Sinai Am Yisrael achieved the status of Adam HaRishon before the sin, which was a status higher than angels.
When they sinned with the egel, once again Am Yisrael erected barriers separating them from HKB"H. These required removal in the same way as above, by another rebirth – shedding the outer layers through decay, thus revealing the inner essence. The desert is a hostile, desolate place where nothing grows. Every year, for 38 years, Am Yisrael "planted themselves" in the ground, literally. Every year 15,000 of them were buried/planted and decayed in the Midbar, until the entire generation of adult males who left Egypt were gone (except for Yehoshua and Calev). What remained was the inner essence of Am Yisrael, who sprouted and entered Eretz Yisrael with Yehoshua.
According to the Midrash (במדבר רבה יט, יג) Moshe remained behind with the מְתֵי מִדְבָּר in order to lead them into Eretz Yisrael in the time of the Geulah and תְּחִיַּת הַמֵּתִים – the final rebirth.
Indeed, what we read about in the latter two thirds of sefer Bamidbar is a repetitive, degenerative series of decaying - from the מִתְאֹנְנִים, to the spies, to Korach, to Mei Meriva, to Balak, to Ba'al Pe'or and the plague that killed 24,000 (according to the Ari z"l [ליקוטי תורה], the 24,000 students of R' Akiva were gilgulim of these 24,000 and did tikkun for them). It is not pretty, Decay is never pretty, but it is an essential process of rebirth. Without decay there can be no rebirth. It is therefore an essential and integral part of sefer Bamidbar, for without it, Am Yisrael would have perished in their entirety in the Midbar!
We have described the process above as a series of "rebirths". Other opinions in Chazal (מדרש אגדה, ויקרא פרק יב; ספר הכוזרי, מאמר ראשון, אות פא-פג; מי השלוח, חלק ב, דברים, ואתחנן; ועוד.) say that these were different stages in the same birth.
The first stage, exile in Egypt, was the conception. Slavery was the pregnancy. Passing through the sea at Yam Suf was the birth process. Wandering in the desert for forty years was adolescence. Entering Eretz Yisrael was reaching maturity.
Similarly, it is possible to examine the history of our nation over the millennia, through the same prism. We reached maturity and entered Eretz Yisrael with Yehoshua. This stage reached fruition with the building of the 1st Beit HaMikdash by Shlomo HaMelech. Am Yisrael had again been reborn and attained the status of Adam HaRishon before the sin (as they did at Har Sinai).
Then again began the cycle of sin, resulting in a new process of rebirth – exile (conception), oppression/expulsion/Holocaust (pregnancy), return to Eretz Yisrael (birth process), the past 78 years of statehood (adolescence). We have not yet reached maturity.
Once again, this time in the middle of an existential war with our enemies, we find ourselves plunged into another round of what I like to call "national psychosis" - a new round of general elections. Unfortunately, as has been made plainly obvious over the last 78 years, politics serves only to divide and widen the rifts in our nation, not heal them.
We are currently in our "national' adolescent stage, unsure of our national identity, our place in the world, our purpose in the world. There are so many pressing issues that require national resolution. The role and responsibility of Charedim within Am Yisrael as a whole. The infiltration of foreign Western liberal progressivism into our society – specifically in the civil service, academia and the media. The optimum balance between "state" and "religion". Our vision for the future of this country – a safe haven or a light unto the nations. How to fight (and defeat?) our enemies. How we relate to ownership of our ancestral homeland. Resolving the "schizophrenia' of being part of Am Yisrael but not settling and living in our ancestral homeland, etc. etc.
For decades these pressing issues have been swept under the carpet, or stuffed like a genie in the bottle – with politics. Political agendas have seen to it that these issues continue to fester beneath the surface and remain unresolved. We are now experiencing a very similar situation that Am Yisrael faced in the Midbar, with the same "adolescent" manifestations – politics (Korach), agendas (spies), infiltration of foreign values (erev rav), etc. which prevent these issues from being resolved once and for all. They are continually swept under the carpet and are thus perpetuated.
Back then it was for 40 years, now (so far) it has been 78 years. You cannot plug these issues in a bottle with a cork or sweep them under the carpet. HKB"H will not allow them to remain unaddressed, He requires resolution, one way or the other.
Am Yisrael need to find some apolitical, agenda-free way of confronting and addressing these issues, with courage and conviction. We need to bring our nation to maturity and not keep "passing the buck" down the line to future generations.
One thing is for sure - it will not be pretty. Dirty laundry seldom is. Nobody likes a bad smell. However, סִרָחוֹן is an essential component of rebirth. It is inescapable and history demands that we have the courage to face it head on and resolve it – for our children.
Meanwhile the "national psychosis" and accompanying שִׂנְאַת חִנָּם is raging destructively - full steam ahead. There has to be a better way and we are collectively responsible to find it. The process will reach maturation, whether we like it or not – HKB"H will make sure it does. We get to decide how painful or painless it will be, by virtue of how we behave and how much responsibility we take upon ourselves.
Am Yisrael needs to find a way to sidestep the political and agenda levels by confronting these issues on a grassroots level, uninfected by government and political agendas, which are a dead end. A huge chunk (perhaps the majority) of this country is already being run on a grassroots level and not on a governmental level, by private initiatives, charities, NGO's, NPO's etc.
If we had to wait for the government/political level to solve all our problems, there would be no MRI's in hospitals, no departments/research in universities, no national ambulance/hatzala services, insufficient equipment for our soldiers to wage war, etc. etc.
The most important lesson that October 7 taught us is that we cannot rely on the government/civil service level to protect us or ensure the wellbeing of our nation. Am Yisrael at the grassroots level have to take the initiative and not wait for these bodies to arrive and deal with anything. We need to individually pack our bags and rush to the front and fight on our own, raise funds to provide missing essential equipment, recruit our own forces to house and support those evacuated, wives whose husbands are away from home and have been fighting non-stop for the last 2½ years, helping small businesses to stay afloat, providing psychological and welfare care for those injured physically and mentally, those orphaned and widowed.
If we want to have a board of inquiry into how October 7 came about, we need to primarily indict ourselves. How we collectively allowed a small minority of politicians, civil servants with progressive and personal agendas to take control over the lives and destiny of our entire nation, rather than take responsibility for it ourselves. How we could possibly trust such a vital task to such an irresponsible and corrupt group of people.
Am Yisrael need to resolve all the burning issues – ourselves at the grassroots level, the way we rallied to fight on October 7. Not to wait for the politicians and civil servants to resolve them. We all need to accept responsibility and band together to establish forums and frameworks for national reconciliation and cooperation that are apolitical. To establish apolitical media channels whose only agenda is achieving national reconciliation and consensus.
Am Yisrael need to wake up and realize that national politics/psychosis is nothing more than "Hollywood". It is not real. It is all an illusion that we like to deceive ourselves into believing. It has never and will never resolve the critical issues that face our nation. Only we can do that ourselves. We need to accept that and take responsibility.
Am Yisrael are such an incredible nation. When we rally together with a common cause, we are unstoppable. Instead of us running after the politicians, judges, generals, reporters etc. we need to have them running after us. We need to regain control over our own nation and not "outsource" this role to incompetent people with agendas.
It begins on a family level, a neighborhood level, a community level, a town/city/province level and then it envelops the whole country and the entire nation.
How do we want our generation to be remembered by history? Like the generation of the spies, Korach, Zimri? Or like Moshe, Aharon, Miriam and Pinchas? It is our collective mission to make sure this happens, to restore Am Yisrael to a – nation! Not an eclectic potpourri of warring factions.
Nobody says that this will be easy. Being in the Midbar was not easy, it was not all mann/clouds/wells and roses. It was often tough, unpleasant, uncomfortable and downright dirty and smelly at times. But it was essential, back then and today. We cannot escape history or responsibility. We have to grapple with it and resolve it to the best of our ability.
Shabbat Shalom
Eliezer Meir Saidel
Machon Lechem Hapanim
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