Rebbetzin Tziporah — You Aren’t Trapped

 Dear friends, 

One of the basic rules in writing a short story is to introduce the characters (and the more realistic they are the better), including the hero (and the more the reader identifies with him, the better). The next step is to present the conflicts, and the final step is to get your reader to hold your hand, and let him join you for the resolution. When that happens, if the story has enough depth, the reader feels more than just the triumph or tragedy of the hero.  He feels the universal reality of struggle, it can awaken the desire to let yourself identify with all of the struggles and all of the resolutions. It lets you feel a certain closeness to all of the rest of us, and recognition that in many ways we have to walk the same path. You want resolution and so does everyone else. 

Everyone has the place in life where he has not yet found resolution. You too are mid-journey.  It may be that you are looking for the right person to marry, it might be the right feeling about your career or job, it might be some irresolvable issues with family members, or physical, financial, or emotional disappointments that feel permanent. It may be as simple as not quite knowing what the next step should be. You can call these situations Mitzraim, which besides being the name of ancient Egypt also means “straits”, the narrow places that let you feel stuck. 

It’s natural to want to move on to the third step, resolution. When your ancestors were standing in your shoes, desperately wanting Out, they were finally addressed by no less than Hashem, telling them what the universal first step has to be, if you are Jewish, and have Him committed to every detail of your life. They may have assumed that He would open the door. Instead, he told them how to open the door. He told them about consecrating the months by observing the mitzvah of Rosh Chodesh. It may seem to you at first reading to be (on the surface) a chapter from the wrong book – you are still stuck in the midst of your straits, and nothing seems to have changed for you. You don’t necessarily know what this mitzvah will do to change this. You also don’t know why this mitzvah was given to make your forebears ready to move on, to find the resolution of their struggles.

It means you have to figure out more about the meaning of time, and why taking notice of its passage is essential. You have to challenge some of your assumptions about time being random, in order to recognize what happened to the Jews in Egypt.

A WEIRD STORY, BUT DON’T WORRY, IT’S NOT TRUE

Two elderly men Sol and Irv had been best friends in their (distant) youths. Life circumstances separated them, yet both felt a certain sort of nostalgia for the camaraderie that characterized their younger years, and they were mutually delighted when by chance they met each other after over a half-century hiatus. Sol’s apartment wasn’t far from the location of their meeting, and he invited Irv upstairs. 

The hours passed seamlessly, and finally Irv took a peek at his watch, and noticed it had stopped. “What time is it?” he asked. “I don’t know,” replied Sol. “I don’t have a watch or a clock.” Irv was astounded. “What do you do when you really have to know what time it is?” “Watch”, responded Sol. He headed to a back room, and returned with a trumpet. He opened the window, let out a few blasts, and within seconds the widows began to open. “What in the world do you think you’re doing, trumpeting at 3 a.m.?!” was the mildest comment. End of story. 

ON OWNING TIME

When you were in pre-school you may have spent your morning in a predictable (but fun – it’s all fun in pre-school) schedule.  I don’t recall the order, but the scenario is still fairly accessible which considering that I was in Gan more or less when the dinosaurs had just become extinct, this is a fairly impressive feat. You played, Morah told a story, you sang with your friends, played a group game, ate, and then it was nap time, another song and out the door. Yesterday was similar, and as far as you know, tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow will be the same.

Time is the measured progression of change. You can choose to ignore its progression like Sol, and just enjoy and try for eternal Gan. Until you move to step two, the struggle. Alternatively, you can want to move with it, so that it brings you to where you want to be at the end of the story. Hashem does the equivalent of making you hear the trumpet forcing you to know that it’s time for you to respond.

For the Jews to get out of Egypt they had to sanctify time, which means acknowledging that it is possible to make your time sacred. Outside events demand Reponses. Things change continually on the outside. One way to take notice comes through the mitzvah of kvias Rosh Chodesh, by which we measure time by the moon, which by its nature has a cycle. It doesn’t really get larger or smaller. The size of the moon doesn’t change. You will see it from your own perspective. You see it from where you find yourself. There is always, always the possibility of renewal.

Getting out of MItzraim whether you are talking about our history, or your personal history, demands that you make choices about how to relate to the moment in which you live right now.  The Kotzker Rebbe would put it thus:

You are the holiest person

Now is the holiest moment

Wherever you stand is the holiest place

This isn’t the end of the story. In the parshah the preparation for the final plague, the killing of the Egyptian first born comes next.  Your ancestors had to stop allowing themselves to edge towards the middle ground. They either chose to be with G‑d as He takes them out, or to face up to the fact that the alternative is being like the Egyptians, who were actually dead even when they were alive, as are all of the evil people you may come across. 

The ten plagues opened their hearts. 

The Midrash says that the 10 plagues parallel the ten statements with which Hashem created the world. Each one opened a very specific door. They also parallel the ten sefirot, the ten ways through which Hashem lets you know Him. That tells you that discovering Hashem, finding meaning in your life, and knowing where to head are all doors you can open. 

The Ten Commandments are going to give you direction, but at times you need to wake up and if nothing else the combination of the very first mitzvah, doing Rosh Chodesh, and the final plague give you the message that is at times hard to hear. You don’t have to stay in MItzraim. You aren’t trapped. Your circumstances are what they are, but whatever they are, they are not you.  

They got out. Strong. Happy. And be”H, so will we.

Love, 

Tziporah