Hi Neshama, I love your name...
I was born in Israel and at the age of 8-9, my parents moved to Canada and then we grew up in NY. As I grew into adulthood, Israel was a distance memory and a place to visit from time to time. The visits became less frequent and for a space of 10 years, I didn't bother going to Israel - till the cursed disengagement. Today I realize that thru the act of fighting for the land and its people
it has earned me my return home.
To be accepted to live in Eretz Israel is a tremendeous zechut. I did not plan to return to Israel, as far as I was concerned, I thought like most people "I'll live in NY till Moshiach brings us to Eretz Israel on HaShem's wings". But we know that plans and schedules are nonexistant but at the time, I honestly felt this way...
When I was sent to Kever Rochel Imenu, a'h, the mission was very successful, Chasdei HaShem. And when I was sent a second time to an undisclosed location, this too was successful. I knew about the Chut HaMeshulash (triangle string) and had a very strong feeling that I'll be sent within a short time to a 3rd place - I never thought it would be permanent. It was Motzei Shabbat,
beginning of Parshat Beshalach, Haftara Shira Devorah HaNevia, a'h and the Malach gave me instructions to go to Eretz Israel, one way. Since I go to the Ohel HaKadosh of the Lubavitch Rebbe, zt'l, weekly, I replied that I must first go to the Ohel HaKadosh of the Rebbe and ask him.
When I awoke, I didn't do anything dramatic. I thought about the dream but the day continued regular. Sunday turned into Monday and by Monday night, I was feeling a tremendeous urge to go to the Ohel HaKadosh. When I got there, I was crying and weeping and it felt more like good bye than the confusion I felt inside. I did the Igrat Kodesh and the Rebbe's answer was "may her flight be kosher and successful and prisat shalom to the chavura".
When I returned home, I went to sleep. The following morning, I didn't send the kids to school.
I called the travel agent (10 am) and he found flight tickets for same day, in 8 hours. I packed up minimally, said goodbye to NY and the kids and I got on the plane 6 pm. The kids weren't really sure what the plan is but they were excited to go to Eretz Israel. On the flight, my son said to me 'Ima, I pray that this is the last airplane flight we will ever need to be on' and I started crying because I felt the same way.
THAT'S IT... THE REST IS HISTORY
AND NONE OF US REMEMBER OUR PREVIOUS LIFE IN AMERICA.
WE ARE HOME IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD.
My suggestion to those that are feeling the constant urge to come home - forget all materialistic possessions - the house, table, bed, or sofa can be the Satan, tying you down and not letting you listen to the Divine Spirit to come home. Don't let money (the authentic golden calf-satan) control you.
A friend of ours lives in NY and recently came to Eretz Israel. They asked me how I decided to make Aliya and said "admat kodesh accepted me back, Chasdei HaShem". They were to return to NY after a few days and called me 2 weeks later to tell me they decided to stay in Israel and tore up the return ticket. Nothing in NY (furniture, job, etc.) is greater than returning to admat kodesh.
The more you will think about the logistics of making Aliya, the more you will be delayed.
COME HOME
call the travel agent and ask him for the next flight available
and get on HaShem's wings.
HaShem gave you the thought, the doing, the effort - He'll never leave you.
Have complete Emunah in our Abba.
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