The Erev Rav Control the Shidduch World — Part Two
Shady characters and rabbinic front men
In this week’s Torah class we explored the concept of chessed, including:
- Why Eliezer’s test of Rivka was appropriate, though not something we should try at home
- The contrast between how the nations of the world typically perceive chessed and what the Torah expects from us
- How everything we do for ourselves and for others can legitimately be an act of chessed
- The actual meaning of the word “shadchan”, and how shadchanim generally do just the opposite
- What Jews in galus should be satisfied with from their host nations
- A remarkable story about when the Romans allowed the Jews to rebuild the Beis Hamikdash, and then changed their mind
The class is embedded above and on Rumble here.
Baruch Hashem, part one of this series, “The Erev Rav Control the Shidduch World”, seems to be going around. My class on the more than 35 ways the shidduch world has been corrupted to go against the Torah and in line with the Amalek/Erev Rav agenda has been viewed well over 2000 times on Substack and Rumble alone (I have no idea how much it’s been shared elsewhere).
My work on this and other subjects will not be acknowledged by the media, let alone boosted by them, because if this were a fair fight in the marketplace of ideas the Erev Rav couldn’t possibly win. They need to control the narrative. It is up to us to reach people with the true Torah perspective and common sense, slowly if necessary, until we turn the tides.
And if we cannot turn the tides, let us at least stand for the truth — someone has to — and save whoever we can.
The April 8, 2025 “Mega Pesach issue” of Mishpacha Magazine contained a 28-page advertising supplement. The fact that it was a paid advertisement was noted in subtle fashion, with the word “Communicated” lightly printed on the upper corner of most pages. There is no indication of who paid for it.
The supplement is called “Adei Ad”. On page 2 there is a table of contents. There is an email address “for questions or comments”, info@adeiad.org, which indicates that this is from an organization. However, the domain name was registered only on April 1, 2025, coinciding with the publication of the supplement, and as of now there is still no organization. No information is available about who registered and controls the domain. A simple email request to speak with someone about the initiative went unanswered.
A phone number with a Lakewood area code is also provided, 732-732-0751, but when one calls all he gets is a recording with an invitation to leave a message so they can “forward it to the appropriate party”.
Listen here:
Everyone behind this initiative is hiding in the shadows, while they trot out The Gedolim™ they commissioned, and pretend they are the ones behind it.
“We invite you to join us in this vital and ongoing conversation,” it says next to the email address and phone number. But all they are doing is collecting feedback — gathering intelligence — to help them foist this on the community one way or another.
There is no one to talk to.
(It would be nice if many thousands of people read this and inundate these Erev Rav creeps with feedback. Stand up for yourselves and your children, already.)
Page 3 has an unsigned letter filled with misdirection. It begins as follows:
Dear Klal Yisrael,
This publication was produced at the behest of the roshei yeshiva and rabbanim leading this initiative to help solve what has been known as “the shidduch crisis”.
This is a recurring theme through the publication. Whoever is actually behind this initiative very much wants you to believe it. It is their only chance to sell this worthless product, one with nearly two decades of failure behind it.
The core of the crisis is something we all recognize: Our system is fundamentally unbalanced. Typically, our daughters begin shidduchim at a younger age; our sons start later. This age gap has created the reality we face today. If we do not begin by addressing this, any other actions will have little impact.
First of all, how presumptuous of them to declare that we all recognize this as “core of the crisis”. If we all recognized this, they wouldn’t need a 28-page advertising insert largely devoted to convincing people of just that.
Second of all, how arrogant of them to claim that the core reason why thousands of Orthodox Jews are having difficulty getting married is because men and women begin dating at different ages. What a complete lack of self-awareness and introspection! What hubris to declare that until this is addressed, “any other actions will have little impact.”
They expect us to believe that the shidduch world is so perfectly in line with the Torah — or close enough — that nothing else should even be addressed for the foreseeable future. I understand that the target audience reflexively blames scapegoats for all their problems, but this is really pushing it.
Then again, that’s quite possibly the main reason this scheme is attractive to many people. It shifts all the blame away from singles, parents, shadchanim, rabbis, and teachers. No need to look in the mirror, both individually and on the communal level, and do some serious soul-searching. The core of the problem is as non-threatening as can be: a mathematical discrepancy. It’s all just a numbers game.
Of course, this implies that G–D has done a bad job managing the rate at which He sends males and females into the world; such a poor job, in fact, that we have a marriage crisis squarely because of that. The theological issues with this (kefira) are not raised. G–D wants us to straighten out this oopsie by banning seminary graduates from dating for about a year. There is only one thing we must do to improve the shidduch world, and that is it; nothing else will help. The Gedolim™ have spoken.
Over the past two and a half years, with the guidance of the greatest gedolim of our generation, led by Hagaon Rav Moshe Hillel Hirsch, the rabbanim and roshei yeshiva have developed a clear, practical, and Torah-based solution…The gedolim are asking bachurim to enter shidduchim earlier and girls to delay shidduchim until the Shavuos after seminary.
This initiative is not a gezeirah or a restriction; it is an opportunity to uplift and unify.
This statement is not only Orwellian and manipulative, like so much of this shady publication; it is an outright lie.
Pages 18 and 19 feature sounds bites from The Gedolim™, including the following:
“This is the ratzon Hashem [G–D’s will]. It is our chov [obligation] to do ratzon Hashem.” — Rav Moshe Hillel Hirsch
“Rav Moshe Hillel is the gadol hador. We have to follow the p’sak of the gadol hador, together.” — Rav Shlomo Miller
“This is our hishtadlus that we must do…” — Rav Elya Brudny (More on him later.)
That is not the language of an opportunity to uplift and unify; it’s the language of a decree. And that’s just the beginning.
From page 21: “Chazal instituted many takanos and halachos to help women of marriageable age get married…” — Rav Dov Kahan
Of course, none of them resemble affirmative action. Chazal never banned some women from getting married to presumably help other women get married first. Then again, numerous teachings of Chazal run counter to this initiative. Chazal didn’t follow Da’as Torah.
The media-crowned “Gadol Hador”, Hillel Hirsch, again on page 24: “Since there is a directive that has been accepted by the rabbanim, that a father should not accept a shidduch for his daughter until Shavuos, the rav should surely answer to the person who asks that he should not go into the shidduch. If the parent does not follow the directive, it is a great misdeed. However, the ratzon Hashem will be fulfilled by the parent whose daughter does not enter shidduchim, not by the daughter of the one who didn’t follow the directive. It is our responsibility to live in a way that fulfills ratzon Hashem.
This is so not a decree or a restriction that the following appears in a list of “frequently asked questions” on page 17:
Question: If a girl has an extenuating circumstance (for example, a difficult family situation) and would benefit from getting married earlier, is she exempt from this?
Answer: The rabbanim and roshei yeshivah affiliated with this movement are establishing a vaad harabbanim that will pasken extenuating circumstances on a case-by-case basis.
Can you imagine a young woman fresh out of seminary having to stand before a Beis Din — controlled by these rabbis, no less — to plead for a religious exemption to allow her to get married?
That is the monstrous plan they are urgently pushing.
To uplift and unify, of course.
To be continued.
Please share this, and start speaking up as well. It is our right, and our obligation.
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