[continued]
The Modern Orthodox believe their children should be saturated with television, movies, culture, and all the secular world has to offer. Filters are bad. That’s what the Charedim do, after all, they shut everything out. They believe their children should be saturated with the secular world because it will make them better Jews.
They believe constant entertainment is a good thing because, after all, the Torah allows for recreation to help one focus. Their children play sports on Shabbos and wear yarmulkes that demonstrate their allegiance to professional sports teams. Their educators have to be “cool” and “with it” to make Torah “interesting” and “relevant,” otherwise they don’t stand a chance. Modern Orthodox kids have no interest in things that aren’t constantly fun. (Interesting how all that recreation helps them focus.)
They believe in going on exotic vacations all over the world because Rabbi Hirsch wanted to see the Alps to admire the wonders of G–D’s creation. Most Modern Orthodox Jews never read anything by Rabbi Hirsch, but they consider themselves his followers because they want to have great careers and travel the world.
Modern Orthodox schools believe in mission statements, particularly ones that mention “excellence,” “supporting Zionism” (mainly by vacationing in Israel periodically and being buried there), and “the highest standards of Torah and secular education.” These schools feature all manner of sports teams and leagues, debate teams, model U.N., and numerous other clubs to facilitate entrance into the finest secular colleges and put students on the fast track to corporate success. But kids who want to immerse themselves in Torah study frighten their parents.
Some Modern Orthodox high schools even have a prom. Modern Orthodox parents figure their kids will fool around anyway, so best to have some supervision. The year in Israel will straighten them out.
Ah, the year in Israel. This has become a rite of passage in the Modern Orthodox world. The more intellectual Modern Orthodox go to intellectual yeshivas to fret over things on a high level.
The more assimilated Modern Orthodox spend a year drinking, playing sports, hanging out with the opposite sex, and having assorted other adventures. At some point during the year they will “get serious” and learn some Torah to justify the year, before going back to college and resuming their merry path. Others will “frum out” and become pseudo-Charedim, quasi-Charedim, or all-out Charedim, in which case they will transfer to a Charedi yeshiva and no longer eat in their parents’ home.
The Modern Orthodox community has yet to decide if they are more afraid of their children becoming hedonists or Charedim. Ultimately they count on the first year in college straightening them out from the year in Israel, which was supposed to straighten them out from their high school years.
Modern Orthodox institutions are run like corporations, down to the jargon and press releases. Whereas Charedi politicos will openly attack one another, Modern Orthodox institutions engage in genteel acts of betrayal. Platitudes and a smile always accompany the knife in the back. Leaders of Modern Orthodox institutions earn status points by being photographed with famous people and articulately saying nothing of substance.
Modern Orthodox rabbis do not have “Da’as Torah.” Consequently, they are not allowed to tell anyone or the community what to do. They are best off speaking about problems elsewhere or giving vague moral messages that everyone can agree with and do not come across as threatening.
Mussar is allowed no more than once or twice a year, and even that must be toned down. Modern Orthodox rabbis are best off being “one of the boys” with just enough distance (such as Charedi-style dress) to maintain a rabbinic posture. They basically serve as the shul’s version of a trophy wife.
Charedi rabbis can teach in Modern Orthodox institutions, but not vice versa. Charedim can promote Charedi stuff in Modern Orthodox communities and media, but not vice versa. Charedi rabbis can promise miraculous salvations for supporting their institutions, but Modern Orthodox rabbis are not endowed with these powers. Indeed, Modern Orthodox people give financial support to Charedi institutions as a way to buy their way into heaven—this is not reciprocated, of course.
The Modern Orthodox talk a good game, but ultimately do not believe in themselves and their way of life.
Not surprisingly, Modern Orthodox rabbis often suffer from a severe inferiority complex, and defer to Charedi rabbis who do not recognize them as legitimate. Some Modern Orthodox rabbis overcompensate and try to turn the tables, but they do not get very far. This is because the Modern Orthodox community as a whole suffers from an inferiority complex, a lack of identity, a lack of direction, a lack of leadership, and a lack of substance.
They know all this and they fret over it, but they wouldn’t have it any other way. They see the only alternatives as abandoning religious observance altogether or becoming Charedi, and they aren’t prepared to go in either direction. So they just muddle along, enjoy their modernity, and try not to worry too much about it all.
Dati Leumi
This is Israel’s version of Modern Orthodoxy, complete with oxymoron. They believe being “nationalistic” is part and parcel of being “Dati,” yet calling themselves “Dati” alone doesn’t suffice.
The Dati Leumi distinguish themselves by wearing big knitted yarmulkes and fully embracing everything Israel to overcompensate for the Charedi delegitimizing of everything Israel. The Dati Leumi do not suffer from the same inferiority complex toward Charedim as do the Modern Orthodox, and are often outspoken critics of Charedim. But they still suffer from a lack of organization, lack of unity, and a lack of direction. They are also not taken very seriously by secular Jews; secular Jews who want more religion go to the Charedim, and secular Jews who scorn religion take advantage of the Dati Leumi’s fear of alienating them. The Dati Leumi want to be loved by everyone and wind up being used and discarded.
Chardal
A cute acronym for Charedi Dati Leumi, which is an oxymoron extraordinaire.
Chardal Jews believe themselves to be good Charedim without being tainted by the evils of Modern Orthodoxy. True Charedim don’t buy it, so Chardal Jews have it pretty rough.
Modern Orthodox Machmir
This label was created only recently, and is also an oxymoron extraordinaire. For if Modern Orthodox is meant to imply “not so strict” and Machmir implies “taking the strict approach,” we have quite a schizophrenic on our hands.
We think those who apply this label to themselves mean to say that they are worldly, educated, and open-minded, but also completely committed to halacha. If that is the case, this is a poor choice of labels. As soon as you put “modern” into the mix, you get implications of laxity, hedonism, and identity crisis, and “machmir” does not sufficiently balance this. In addition, the Torah scorns one who is categorically “machmir.” Total commitment to halacha is not being “machmir”; it is the minimum expected of every Jew.
Consequently, instead of disassociating themselves from the “not so serious” aspects of Modern Orthodoxy, the Modern Orthodox Machmir confirm themselves as confused and desperate to be taken seriously without becoming Charedi.
Chardal Jews want to be considered open-minded without being considered “Modern,” and Modern Orthodox Machmir Jews want to be considered serious without being considered “Charedi.” Hence, while their ideologies and goals may appear strikingly similar, they cannot possibly marry one another.
Modern Orthodox Liberal
Jews who live like Goyim but want to be considered “religious.” It is unclear who would actually refer to himself by this label. Modern Orthodox hedonists refer to themselves simply as Modern Orthodox. It seems this label was created as the opposite side of the coin for Modern Orthodox Machmir, presumably so the Machmir types can look down on the rest of the Modern Orthodox much as Charedim do to them.
Modern Orthodox Centrist
This is a popular new label among Modern Orthodox who don’t want to be thought of as Machmir or liberal. The problem is that the people who use this label are the ones who struggle the most to define Modern Orthodoxy, without the “Centrist” further complicating things.
What does it mean to be in the center? Doesn’t everyone believe himself to be in the center and those who don’t resemble him to be an extremist one way or the other? If Modern Orthodoxy has shifted to the right, is the Centrist movement a breakaway from Modern Orthodoxy, or vice versa?
Since “the center” is so subjective, does it even mean anything at all? If so, who gets to define where the center is, or where it should be?
If Modern Orthodox Centrist just sounds good but doesn’t really mean anything, it is no wonder that it is a Modern Orthodox invention.
New Charedim
These Charedim wear blue shirts instead of white and work for a living. But they are still Charedim!
And they are not Chardal! And they are definitely not Modern Orthodox! And they are New Charedim, not Old Charedim, even though Charedim used to wear blue shirts! And they are not like Charedim who wear white shirts and work for a living!
Got it? Good.
Yeshivish
Not yet Charedi but hopes to become Charedi someday. After all, Charedi yeshiva students are Charedim. So who are Yeshivish? People who don’t come from Charedi families, but idealize Charedim and hope to become Charedi. What holds them back? They need to find someone to pay the bills. True Charedim already have a sponsor or have worked something out. Yeshivish people hedge their bets, though they would never admit it.
Yeshivish Modern
This label refers to Modern Orthodox people who are Charedi wannabes, typically yeshiva students who want to switch back and forth according to the needs of the moment. They will dress like Charedim, talk like Charedim, and pretend to think like Charedim, but when they are out with their friends they become Modern Orthodox. They believe they can be super frum and also have all the fun.
Yeshivish Modern should not be confused with Modern Orthodox Machmir. The former pretend to be Charedi and even believe themselves to be Charedi, whereas the latter forfeit the perks of pseudo-Charedi association in favor of slightly more integrity—as much as confused caricatures can have integrity.
Modern Yeshivish
This refers to Charedim who want to be normal, for G–D’s sake. Bad move. They think that when they call themselves Modern the listener will take it in a positive vein, a Charedi who is cool, “up with the times,” not a psycho-religious nut. But “Modern” is a loaded word in Charedi circles, a veritable kiss of death.
Hence, we can best define Modern Yeshivish as someone who is too reckless to be up with the times on labels, and that is neither Modern nor Yeshivish. They learn this soon enough and typically retreat back to full-fledged Charedi.
Carlebachian
A hippy. Someone who wants the benefits of being Chassidish without a Rebbe, religious distinctions, presumption of Torah scholarship, presumption of saintliness, or need to wear the levush. A little Kabbalah, something to drink or smoke, and some good jazz is all it takes. Dude!
EndTheMadness Guide to the Shidduch World is available on Amazon here and I have limited copies available in Israel for 70 shekels. Contact me directly at weissmans@protonmail.com to order.
Visit chananyaweissman.com for the mother lode of articles and books.
Visit rumble.com/c/c-782463 for my Torah classes, Amalek and Erev Rav programs, and much more.
Buy my books on Amazon here or contact me directly to purchase in Israel.
Download Sefer Kibbutz Galuyos pdf here or ePUB here, or buy on Amazon here.
Download Tovim Ha-Shenayim as a PDF for free!
weissmans@protonmail.com
No comments:
Post a Comment