'Beware lest you speak with Yaakov good or bad'
In the end, they parted, by making a covenant - at Laban’s behest - between them, but what did Laban really want?
The Torah - in our Parasha - relates the departure of Yaakov and his household, from Laban.
We read:(31:13-29) ):
’An angel said to’ Yaakov in the dream..Now- arise, leave this land and return to your native land..Yaakov arose and lifted his children and his wives onto the camels. He led away all his livestock and all the wealth he had amassed.. to go to his father Yitzchak, to the land of Canaan.
‘It was told to Laban..that Yaakov had fled. So he took his kinsmen with him and pursued him..But G-d had come to Laban..in a dream by night and said to him:Beware lest you speak with Yaakov either good or bad.
‘Laban overtook Yaakov..(he) said to Yaakov:..Why have you fled so stealthily.. I would havr sent you off with gladness..And you did not even allow me to kiss my sons and my daughters..It is in my power to do you all harm; but the G-d of your father addressed me last night, saying:Beware …’
The Torah then relates the parting conversation between Yaakov and Laban - Yaakov reminding Laban of his faithful service to him, for twenty years, and chastizing Laban for the dishonest way in which he rewarded him, concluding:(31:43)
’Had not the G-d of my father - the G-d of Avraham and the dread of Yitzchak - been with me, you would have surely now sent me away empty handed; G-d saw my wretchedness and the toil of my hands, so he admonished you last night’.
They parted, by making a covenant - at Laban’s behest - between them - in Laban’s words:
’This mound is a witness between me and you today.. that I may not cross over to you past this mound, nor may you cross over to me past this mound..May the G-d of Avraham and the god of nachor judge between us.’’
Rashi comments: 'Either good or bad’:’All the good of the wicked is considered evil to the righteous.
The Kli Yakar expounds: Between me and myself, these words can be interpreted in two ways, accordingly Hashem said three things to Esav: First, He forbade him to speak to Yaakov ‘good’, good things and comforting ones, because the good of the wicked is evil to the righteous - since the heart of the wicked is to harm the righteous, and assuredly, when he speaks good with him, this is to flatter him, so that the righteous will not be on guard against him.
This thing is clear - why not to speak to him - as this will lead to his harm - but even words that can be interpreted in two ways, which you might think you are pemited to speak to him - against this, the warning was עד: to teach him not to seek to deceive him by your words.
Moreover, even totally ‘bad’ words - which you might think that he is permitted to day, so that Yaakov will not be careful and be on guard against him - that it is Yaakov’s own fault if he is not on guard against them - therefore it says ‘bad’: do not cause him any harm.
This elucidates what is said in juxtaposition: ’And you shall not cross this mound, to me לרעה: to do bad’, suggesting that for the good, he may cross - whereas Laban said:’If I do not cross the mound, towards you’, meaning: on no account, shall I cross the mound, even for good - this, because Hashem had adjured him against speaking ‘good’ to Yaakov - understand, that He does not want your ‘goodness’, as all your goodness is suspect in my eyes, as bad.
The Ktav Sofer opens his commentary, by saying: We need to understand why Hashem warned Esav against speaking ‘good’ to Yaakov - also why Laban said to him: ’It is in my power to do you all harm’ - immediately before relating to Yaakov the warning from Hashem.
Why did he need to say the former to Yaakov, before telling him that he is not doing ‘anything’ to him because of Hashem’s warning in the matter - would it not have bren preferable, if he had not informed Yaakov of the warning, thus leaving him with the impression that he was forebearing to him out of the goodness of his hear?
The answer these questions may be found in the Haggadah of Pesach of ‘Maasei Hashem’: Had Hashem not talen our ancestors out of Egypt, we would still have been enslaved to Pharoah - meaning: Had Hashem put in the heart of Pharoah, to send us out, out of the goodness of his heart, we would be compelled to always owe him a debt of gratitude, for this favor.
However, when Hashem caused that we be sent out, by His mighty hand, this was negated - this is the purport of his commentary.
Hashem - likewise - did not want for Laban to be ‘good’ with Yaakov, and to say to him: Whilst it was within my power to do bad with you, but only out of the goodness of my heart, I am being so forbearing with you.
In that case, Yaakov would owe him a debt of gratitude - to preclude this, Hashem commanded Esav: ’Do not speak with Yaakov either good or bad’.
Neither ‘good’, that he was doing for Yaakov - had Esav not related Hashem’s warning to him, Yaakov would have had the impression that Esav was doing him ‘good’.
Therefore, it was necessary that Esav be compelled to relate to Yaakov the warning of Hashem, so that Yaakov should be aware that Esav was not acting out of the goodness of his heart.
Rav Moshe Sterbuch encapsulates: It appears, regarding the commentary Rashi brings, That whatever good the wicked do for the righteous, is to the detriment f the latter - both because, the wicked thereby partakes in the meriits of the righteous, and also because the righteous then feels himself guilty of ingratitude, for repaying ‘bad in place of good’, to his benefactor, yet the righteous distances himself from him.
Hashem, therefore, warns against in any way benefitting from the wicked, lest this lead to a feeling of indebtedness, to him, by the righteous.
The Be’er Mayim Chaim adds: The main reason why Esav pursued Yaakov, was to cause him to return with him, so that he should continue to be blessed, because of his presence - as he knew that Yaakov did not take anything improperly from him, or steal anything that belonged to Esav.
This can bear two ‘faces’: One, that he should ask him, in a good manner, to teturn to his household, by promising him much reward, and wealth.
Second: to speak ‘badly’ with him, that he would cause him harm, if he did not rerurn - though, in fact, he did not wish to harm him, only to cause him to return.
Hashem, however, did not want Esav to speak with him at all regarding his return, not from ‘good’, nor ‘bad’ - and therefore warned: Beware lest you speak with Yaakov’ - meaning: that which you wish to speak, for Yaakov to be with you, either by ‘good’: promise of reward, nor by ‘bad’ - threat of harm.
Thus chastized, we indeed find, that Laban did not say to Yaakov, anything concerning returning to his household, only thar he ‘would have sent him off with gladness, with songs’, had Yaakov not left in the manner he did - a far different picture than peviously, when he pursued Yaakov, clearly with the intent to cause him to rerurn.
Though he would have likely done this in a ‘good’ way, he was warned against this, as we read.
The Panim Yafot expounds: The reason why ‘the ‘good’ of the wicked is ‘bad’ for the righteous’, is because their ‘good’ is not really ‘good’, as their intention is that - by it - they will be able to harm them.
This, by the wiles of the yetser ha’ra, who seduces a person, by the temporary pleasure, to then bring him to ‘spiritual death’..
This is the purport of Psalm (52:4), that the ‘good’ by which the wicked entices the righteous, is for ‘his love of the evil, which will come, from ‘this good’.
The Alshich Hakadosh comments: Esav said: ’I have it in my power to do you harm, but the G-d of your father addressed me last night, saying: Beware of speaking with Yaakov either good or bad - Hashem did not say that He would prevent him from speaking, only: Beware of speaking.
Yaakov, later in the parasha, elucidates : ’Had not the G-d of Avraham and the dread of Yitzchak - you would surely have sent me away empty-handed’ - had I only come from the attribute of chessed - from Avraham - it would have been possible that the attribute of דין : of strict justice, might have opposed me - but the G-d of Avraham, the attribute of chessed, ‘and the dread of Yitzchak’, which is my merit from the attribute of Din, were mine, also merited by the attribute of Din.
As had this not been the case, you would have sent me away empty-handed.
The proof of this, is that Hashem appeared to Laban in a dream - and this, at night, when the attribute of Din, is at its strongest - adjuring him: Lest you speak to Yaakov either good or bad.
This is what Laban alluded to, in saying:’The G-d of your father..’.’
Abarbanel concludes our survey of commentaries, on this matter: As it was the intention of Laban to do bad with Yaakov, it was necessary for Hashem to command hij, and to warn him, in a dream, that while he - Laban - was not worthy of this dream, in honor of Yaakov, it came to him, saying: ’Lest you speak with Yaakov either good or bad’.
The true exposition, in my eyes, is that when a person rebukes another, he will do so in one of two ways: he opens with words of praise, and concludes with harsh words - as by saying: ’Hashem knows how great is my love for you, but, in regards to what you have done, I am as an enemy to you.’
‘Or, he will open with harsh words, but conclude with good, as by saying:’You have done dastardly deeds, to me, but with this, I will not depart from my love for you’.
Therefore, Hashem warned Laban: If you wish to rebuke Yaakov ‘from bad to good' - opening with the bad, and concluding with the good, then: well and good.
But beware of speaking with Yaakov in the other way - ‘from good to bad’ - because, our Sages adjure: ‘Everything goes according to the conclusion’.
This, in fact, is what Laban did: starting with harsh rebuke, but concluding with words of affection.
He thereby did not transgress against Hashem’s warning.’
A parting gem from Chezkuni - which reveals the extent of Laban’s sense of self-importance: ’It is in my power to harm you’ - and your G-d knows this, and is fearful lest I take my vengeance on you. He therefore came to me in a dream last night, to warn me on your behalf.
לרפואת חיילי צה"ל ולרפואת נועם עליזה בת זהבה רבקה ונחום אלימלך רפאל בן זהבה רבקה, בתוך שאר חולי עמנו
