"Do not grab a dog by its ears!"
Reb Ginsbourg: Couldn’t Yaakov simply avoided his brother?
Without any introduction, our Parasha opens by relating:(32:3-8) Then, Yaakov sent angels ahead of him to Esav his brother to the land of Seir, the field of Edom. He charged them, saying : Thus shall you say: To my lord, to Esav, so said your servant Yaakov:גרתי עם לבן:I have sojourned with Laban and have lingered until now.
I have acquired oxen and donkeys, flocks, servants and maidservants and I am sending to tell my lord to find favor in your eyes.
Sforno expounds: Yaakov sent angels’: To know what was in the heart of his brother.
Rashbam - one of the Rishonim: the prime early commentaries - says: This is the pshat: the literal meaning of the psukim:: He commanded them to say: ’This is what you shall say’ - the emissaries were not aware of Yaakov’s concern.
‘With Laban I dwelt:’as you know: in fulfillment of the mitzvah, to honor my father and my mother - so that he should not think: because of him, I ran away from home.
‘We came to your brother, to Esav’: and you found favor in his eyes, as you sought - out of his happiness at your coming, and out of his love for you, he is coming towards you, with four hundred men with him, to honor you.
Chizkuni - another of the Rishonim - expounds:’ So said your servant, Yaakov: to cool the mind of Esav, he said this - meaning: the blessing of our father - ‘the younger will be the master to the elder’ - was not fulfilled in me, as I seek but to be your servant.
‘With Laban I dwelt’: Do not wonder from where that which I have came, as I dwelt with our relative, Laban - had I dwelt with an unrelated person, I would have had nought.
Another thing: ‘With Laban I dwelt: As you know, to fulfil the mitzvah of honoring one’s mother and father - so that Esav should not think that because of him, he ran away.
Further: So that there should not be in Esav’s heart a complaint against him - that he did not visit him for twenty years - he said that this was because he was but a worker, by Laban.
The Midrash, however, faults Yaakov, on this deed, saying:(Tanchuma): This is what is called ‘one who grabs a dog by its ears’ : מתערב על ריב לא לו: getting involved in a quarrel that is not his - of whom is this said? Yaakov!
‘Said Rabbi Chanina ben Rav Yitzchak: He heard from his Creator, from whom he asked, all that He promised him, and - yet, after this - he sends emissaries to Esav, to say to him: ’So said your servant, Yaakov’.
Regarding this, it is rightly said:’Grabbing a dog by its ears’ - when? when Yaakov sent emissaries to Esav.
Rav Yosef Chaim Shneur Kotler, comments: Why is this called ‘getting involved in a quarrel that does not concern him'?
Is it not well known to all, that Esav is waiting for the hour that he is able to kill Yaakov - so how can it be said, that this argument has no connection to Yaakov?
It appears, that our Sages felt that - according to the lofty level Yaakov had attained, the existence of Esav should not have had a place in his service and in his thoughts, at all.
What was imposed on Yaakov was to strengthen himself, to ascend to the lofty spiritual level required of him - as that, in itself, would result in fulfillment of ‘the elder shall serve the younger’.
Therefore, Yaakov should have not made any efforts to meet Esav, as this would only be an Interruption to his required ascent, and would only hinder this mission.
This is why Yaakov was commanded to leave the house of Laban, and return to the Land of Israel, as his task from now was solely this ascent - and external matters, such as Esav, had no place, not even in his thoughts.
The Da’at Zkenim leBa’alei Tosafot, comment: Because he called Esav ‘my lord’, he was punished - Hashem had said: The elder shall serve the younger, yet you called him:’my lord’ eight times, as we read in the Parasha - by your life, eight kings will reign from Esav, before there will be a king in Israel - as we read at the end of our Parasha: And these are the kings who reigned in the land of Edom before there was a king, who reigned in Israel.
This makes it clear that Yaakov is charged, as he should have felt his superiority over Esav, and known that the role of the first-born was his - and this should have caused him to have a feeling of complete nullity towards Esav and his forces.
From all of this, it is clear that all of Yaakov’s mission now was to completely disconnect from his relatives - Esav and Laban - and his turning to Esav, seemingly gives the impression that he needed to let him know the way on which he was going - which, our Sages say, was a defect in the desired state of ‘a people that dwell alone’, as the nation of Israel had already been built, by the twelve tribes - and, for this, they faulted Yaakov.’
The Yalkut Lekach Tov brings an exposition on our subject, from Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz- which does not appear in the mashgiach’s classic ‘Sichot Mussar’.
The Rav notes our Sages’s reference to ‘getting involved in a fight not his’, and expresses wonder: was it not well known that there was a long and enduring rivalry between Yaakov and Esav, which compelled Yaakov to escape for his life, from his home, to Charan? - and this danger had not yet passed, Esav’s intention still remained.
It was therefore natural that, on his return from Charan now, Yaakov would send emissaries to Esav, saying:’I am sending..to find favor from my lord’ - which Rashi expounds: That I am at peace with you, and seek your love.
Why - then - is this called:’a fight not his’, and why is it likened to ‘grabbing a dog by its ears’, and further likened, to one who awakens the arch- robber who was sleeping, from his slumber?
Expounds Rav Shmuelevitz: From this we learn that all the while that the peril has not come in fact on a person, he is deemed to be as if the fight is not his’ - even if there is a very definite genuine concern that the peril will come upon him - he is still deemed to regard it, as if ‘the arch-robber is asleep’ - more than that: even if the enemy prepares to come, and has even set out on the way, he is still to be regarded as an arch-robber who is asleep, as even after he has taken the first step, it is not certain that he will take the next step.
We can now understand the saying of our Sages, that one who sends emissaries to Esav in our situation, is deemed ‘one who gets involved in a fight that is not his’ - as, at this point, there is no fight! The dog is asleep, and therefore, Yaakov who took steps to precede the peril - is considered as one ‘who grabs the dog by its ears’.
Further, this improper preparation by Yaakov, brought the peril on him - Esav was going on his way, but now that Yaakov - as it were - ‘grabbed his ears’, he came towards him with his four hundred men.
The Malbim elucidates: When Yaakov felt, by the angels who were with him, that he was in danger, he tried to find natural means to appease Esav, so that he would not require a miracle to be safe.
Esav was then a minister in his portion of the land of Seir, and Yaakov came as one who seeks rest and sanctuary in his land, under his rule, and to reside there.
He therefore sent emissaries before him - just as he was later to send Yehuda, to Goshen, before him.
Their role was to speak to the heart of Esav, that he be accepted in his land - this ‘to the land of Seir, the field of Edom’, which Esav had conquered.
And he commanded them to say, words from which Esav would understand that the blessings he received from Yitzchak, were not fulfilled in him - only in Esav, that being the intention of their father, as he had intended them for Esav.
As to the blessing ‘to be a master over your brother’, he said:’So shall you say to my lord, to Esav’ - that he was the lord and master.
As the blessings also encompassed all his family, behold: ‘I have sojourned with Laban’, as an alien in a land, not as a an important person or as a ruler; further, as to the blessing of: ’From the dew of the heaven, and the fat of the land’, this too was fulfilled in Esav, who conquered a land, which he ruled - not in me, as I dwelled in a land that was not mine.
Further, again, the blessings he received was that I should be blessed in a manner beyond the natural order, but behold the little that I have, which came after so much travail and toil.
That which he added:’and I have lingered until now. I have acquired oxen and donkeys..’ - not sooner, only after twenty years of labor, and in this, also, only a few of each.
As to land - which was the main blessing:’From the fat of the land and abundant grain and wine’, I have nought, and I have to seek a place to reside in your land.
I therefore send to you, to find favor in your eyes, so that you permit me to reside in your land.
Rav Shimon Schwab offers a different understanding of our subject: In truth, we need to delve into the deed of Yaakov, in sending emissaries to Esav, as we find that our Sages found fault, seeing it as ‘grabbing the ears of a dog, and intervening in a matter which did not concern him, and in his referring to Esav as his master, when he was going on his way.
This obliges us to clarify what was on the mind of Yaakov, in so doing.
It would appear - as the Malbim expounded in Parashat Toldot - that Yitzchak’s intention, in giving the brachot to Esav, was that he wanted there to be a partnership between the two brothers - like the one between Yissachar and Zebulon - so that Yaakov could dedicate his life to the service of Hashem, and Esav would sustain him .
Therefore, Yaakov in sending the emissaries to Esav , was not to see if Esav was coming ‘after him’ - as he had feared and already known - but in the hope that perhaps now, the original intention of their father would be fulfilled, as to their ‘partnership’.
Whilst to the human eye it might appear that Esav meant to fight and even kill Yaakov, to find out for sure, Yaakov needed to send actual angels - as Rashi states - who could divine what truly was on the mind of Esav - that perhaps now the hour had arrived for Yaakov to proffer a partnership between them.
Our final offering:
The exposition of Abarbanel:
He, alone among the commentaries we have brought, provides the context to Yaakov sending emissaries to Esav.
He begins by asking: What was the reason that Yaakov sent the emissaries, to Esav, as the reason given: To find favor in your eyes’ raises the question: How will it find favor in his eyes, telling him of the possessions he, Yaakov, acquired - and I don’t know the reason for this sending of the emissaries, and why was this to be said by emissaries- and not face-to-face?
Indeed, our Sages already found fault’ - as we have brought, ‘for the sending of the emissaries, so what benefit could there be, for this submissiveness, out of the presence of Esav?’
He answers: There is no doubt in my mind, that when Yaakov parted from Laban, he did not know that Esav was in his way; but when the camp of angels came to him - without speaking to him - he perceived that they came to save him from a peril, and this made him understand that Esav was nearby.- and that Hashem had sent the angels to him, to prevent Esav from harming him.
Armed with this knowledge, he decided in his mind, to send the angels to him, to give him his greeting of peace.
He had two intentions in sending the angels: One, knowing Esav’s prominence, that he not think that Yaakov was a lowly individual of little worth, and that, therefore, his emergence as Esav’s brother from afar, would be an embarrassment and humiliation to him.
He therefore sent to him, before he appeared, that he had many possessions, and would not be a source of embarrassment to Esav.
Further, with this, he instructed the emissaries to say:’So shall you say to my lord, to Esav: this is what your servant Yaakov said’ - so that Eesav not think that the sending of the emissaries was because he was fearful of Esav - but because Esav was his master.
He sought to remove from Esav’’s heart, his hatred for having taken from him, the rights of the first-born and the blessings of Yitzchak - and therefore sent him these emissaries, to subjugate himself to him.
He sent them to Seir - and did not initially go by himself there - because he was unable to leave the women and children, and this led him to send the emissaries, with his message.
They were also to say:’With Laban I dwelt’: meaning: my absence from you, was not on account of the blessings, as - if he was running away from him - he would not have gone to Laban, who was related to Esav, as well as to Yaskov, and to whom Esav - had he wished - could have readily gone, but went there at his mother’s command - to take a wife.
He also relayed this to him for another purpose, saying: whatever I have now, know that is not because of the blessings - but as result of twenty years toil, and with this - see how little it is from each kind.
I send this to my lord, to find favor in your eyes, so that you know that the blessings were not fulfilled in me, and I gained nothing from them - only from my labor.
לרפואת חיילי צה"ל וכן נועם עליזה בת זהבה רבקה ונחום אלימלך רפאל בן זהבה רבקה, בתוך שאר חולי עמנו.
