It seems pretty clear why we count the Omer.
In Mitzraim, our ancestors were almost lost in the darkness of deep tumah. They stood at the 49th degree of degradation, a shocking hairsbreadth from disappearing into the spiritual sewer. Hashem rescued them at that very second!
From that moment, a huge elevation was needed to lift them from that lowly level to the spiritual height at which they were able to accept the Torah at Har Sinai. Our Omer count reflects the arduous upward movement by which our ancestors scaled the spiritual heights. So it seems clear why we count the Omer.
But what I have difficulty understanding is the connection between the Omer count and the bringing of the Korban Omer, the offering of barley in the Bais Hamikdosh. What does a barley offering have to do with our spiritual journey?
I heard from Rabbi Yitzchak Breitowitz and others words which clarified the nature of the Korban Omer and why it was brought from barley, which is considered the lowest type of grain and which is usually fed to animals.
We were at the animal level when we left Mitzraim. Our Egyptian hosts lived on a level at which physical desires governed their lives, analogous to the warning in the Shema not to follow our heart and our eyes to destruction, chas v’Shalom.
The Korban Omer exemplified our spiritual level at the moment we left Mitzraim. And then our ancestors took a step up, and another step and another step. Day by day they climbed out of the pit. That is how one grows spiritually, step by step. And that is how our ancestors achieved the tremendous spiritual ascent from Egypt to Har Sinai, in order for us to merit standing at that mountain and receiving the Torah directly from Hashem.
On Shavuos, two loaves of challah made from wheat, the highest form of grain, were offered in the Holy Temple. That represented the amazingly successful spiritual ascent which our ancestors had made at that time. Today – as we count the Omer each day – we are trying to replicate that incredible spiritual journey. Sefiros ha Omer is a spiritual ladder which the Torah has given us which enables us to imitate the heroic actions of our ancestors.
In Mitzraim we were at the level of animals. At Har Sinai we had become holy Jews filled with yiras Shomayim. This scenario is not only embedded into our life through the Torah but also represents a huge source of chizzuk for us in this generation.
What is the chizzuk?
When we examine the present state of our messed-up world it can be incredibly depressing. We are surrounded by a culture that is mired in crass materialism. Even spiritual people are affected by the lure of money and power and material success, which can destroy midos and spiritual goals. All around us we find gross immorality. All around we find a culture sunken in the desire for physical pleasure. I do not think that people in general realize the degree to which we are trapped and ensnared in this culture. In general, we are drawn to the world of non-Jewish standards, which we have come to regard as normal.
How can we survive as the Holy Nation in such a terrible environment? How can we actually bring Moshiach to this degraded world?
The answer is that Hashem pulled us out of Mitzraim when our ancestors stood at mem-tes Shaa’re tumah, the forty ninth level of degradation. If it could happen in Mitzraim, it can happen today! That is the incomparable chizzuk of Sefiras ha Omer! If Hashem took our ancestors out of Mitzraim from mem-tes Sha’are tumah, then we have reason to hope and believe that He will also rescue us from our own contemporary degraded world.
Having said this I would like to discuss another aspect of Sefiras ha Omer which continues to baffle me: how exactly do we understand the daily incremental changes embodied in this process? What exactly do the forty nine sefiros represent? What is the difference between day one, day two and day three and so on? I looked at several sefarim which discussed this process, but I had trouble understanding them.
So I thought I would examine my own life experience and try to connect it to the Omer count. Maybe, through examining personal experiences, I could understand what our ancestors experienced thousands of years ago. Sefira is counted in days and also in weeks. So let's start with weeks, since that seems a bit easier to comprehend.
How would we divide a spiritual journey into seven parts?
Looking at my own life, the first phase encompassed approximately the first seven years, when I lived in such utter darkness that I did not know I was in darkness. I had no experience outside of this darkness. I was actually terrified of physical darkness. As a child, I always slept with my room door open. I had to have light in the room, because I was afraid. Once, the wind blew my room door closed and I screamed out in fear. I remember it well!
The second phase was the beginning of a perception that there might be a place of light outside the darkness. I started to look for a way of life that could free me from darkness. My search in the beginning was in the physical world, for example I began to like hiking. I thought that nature was G-d. That brought me into my teenage years.
In the third phase, in high school, I met my future wife. We started searching together for truth. Our path now turned toward social action, like racial discrimination or anti-war activities, as well as more spiritual areas involving the writings of pseudo-Oriental gurus, poetry and philosophy.
In the fourth period – and now we were in college – we got married. But, without G-d, our marriage fell into crisis. Our world was in danger of exploding! At this critical time it looked as if I was either headed for a mental breakdown or … something had to give which I did not expect. This is where Hashem rescued us! The moment had come when we realized that there not only is, but there has to be a G-d Who runs the world!
The fifth phase was plunging into avoda zara. When you believe that God is real, but you are not prepared to accept the Torah, you can plunge into deviant spiritual realms. This phase lasted about eight years, until the utter emptiness of the deviant spiritual practices became overwhelmingly obvious.
This led to the sixth phase, a period of utter emptiness in which I realized that every single path we had ever traveled was completely devoid of meaning and substance! Where would we go? What would we do? Was there no truth in the world?
At that moment, when all seemed lost, the sun rose and Hashem saved us. After eleven years of marriage and at the edge of the precipice, we met Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis in the spring of 1974. She introduced us to the Torah and rescued us from the utter emptiness of a world without meaning. This was the seventh phase of our lives, when we started first learning and then living a Torah life. We were indeed standing at that moment at Har Sinai!
My friends, life does not end at Har Sinai. That is really where it begins! May we all continue to be elevated by the Torah until the day when the entire world is bathed in its Holy Light and the Bais Hamikdosh is standing once again in Yerushalayim Ir ha Kodesh!
The upward path
GLOSSARY
Avoda zara: idol worship
Bais Hamikdosh: Holy Temple
Chas v’Shalom: G-d forbid
Chizzuk: encouragement
Har Sinai: Mount Sinai
Mitzraim: Ancient Egypt
Korban Omer: Temple offering
Omer: measure of barley
Sefiros: spiritual levels
Tumah: spiritual impurity
Yiras Shomayim: fear of G-d
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