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17 October 2025

Rabbi Wein: Bereshith

 

Bereishith

All of the problems of humankind and life itself are revealed to us in this opening parsha of the Torah. Desire, greed, violence, murder, jealousy, paganism and tragic disappointment mark the events of this parsha. The human story and its history over the ages is not necessarily a pleasant one.  All of the disappointments that appear in this week’s parsha recur in every generation of the descendants of Adam and Chava. Nevertheless, we see that the Lord Himself, the Creator and sustainer of all life, so to speak, never loses heart. The Torah emphasizes that out of the original mess that mankind has made of its beginnings there does emerge a righteous individual.

     The final words of the parsha are that Noach found favor in God’s eyes. Thus at the beginning of the Torah itself, we are taught a basic lesson in Jewish thought and values – the worth of one individual. As the rabbis in Avot phrased it: “There were ten generations from Adam to Noach and each generation was more corrupt and provocative than the one before it until Noach came along and reaped the potential reward of all of those generations.” 

     One person can collect the reward for millions of others who do not appreciate or obtain that reward that awaits them. In fact the entire book of Bereshith whose reading we have just embarked upon in the synagogue is a story of individuals. The backdrop to the story are great world events – floods, wars, famines and changing social societies – but the main story and certainly its heroes and heroines are individuals.   

     The Talmud asks: “Why was only a single human being created to begin life on this earth?” The Talmud gives a number of important answers, mainly that no one should be able to lord it over another human being because of ancestry or genealogy. But one of the ideas implicit in the creation of only one individual is to teach us that very fact of the worth and importance of an individual. 

    In our world of billions of people it is quite easy to forget this basic lesson of the Torah – that a person is worth everything. In the past century we were witness to ideologies and their protagonists who destroyed tens of millions of people in order to implement a concept, philosophy or social order. This complete disregard for the worth of an individual and the human life that that individual possesses is one of the sorriest stories in the human saga. 

     The Jewish people are small in number relative to other nations and faiths. Yet our value is counted in our worth as individuals, in our personal behavior and in our devotion to our eternal Torah values and its way of life. We truly believe that there are great things that each individual can accomplish, achievements that can and will live on long after one’s years on earth are ended. 

     At the beginning of this great and good year that is now upon us let us resolve that we value ourselves and others as individuals of special worth and unique abilities. This will mark a very good beginning to our year.

 A healthy winter and Shabat shalom.

Rabbi Berel Wein  

Breishis - Protecting Your Power

Why did Hashem specifically 'build' Chava (Eve) from the 'side' or 'rib' of Adam? What was it that Hashem contemplated (binah) as He built (vayiven) her? Why did He not build her from the head, eye, mouth, etc. of Adam? What is the concept of modesty? How does one approach the challenge of using one's power correctly in one's relationships? What is the idea behind the constant 'ringing' of Chava in Adam's mind as he slept? How can we protect our power so it doesn't adversely affect others?
 

This Dancing was a Tikkun for the “other dancing” …..

 

Hakafos Sheniyos Held at Nova Festival Site Two Years After Massacre


Two years after the massacre, Hakafos Sheniyos place at the site of the Nova music festival, with ZAKA volunteers who returned — this time to celebrate with the Sifrei Torah.

NOT JUST CELEBRATE, IT WAS A TIKKUN FOR THE TERRIBLE ANTI-TORAH EVENT ON THAT OCTOBER DAY 2 YEARS AGO!

TO UNDERSTAND, LISTEN TO Rabbi Glatstein at The Vilna Gaon..... 



The Ramban on How Bereishis Settles the Historic Battle For Eretz Yisroel

 

Location of Remaining …….is Known??

Israel shared intel on location of hostages’ bodies with mediators, official says

Turkey sends experts to Gaza in emerging multinational endeavor to locate hostages’ remains; US role in task force still unclear, stifling recovery efforts, says European diplomat

This Needs Clarification:  they know where the remaining bodies are? When? How?

Israel has shared the intelligence it has on the location of deceased hostages’ bodies in Gaza with mediating countries in the US-backed Gaza ceasefire deal, an Israeli official disclosed Thursday evening. “In coordination with the United States and the mediators,” said the official, “Israel is exerting pressure to complete the stage of returning all the bodies held by Hamas.”

Israel gave precise coordinates of locations where it believes hostages are buried to Egypt, Qatar, and Turkey, according to Channel 12 news.

More here https://www.timesofisrael.com/israel-shared-intel-on-location-of-hostages-bodies-with-mediators-official-says/

Anti-Draft Protest in Manhattan

 

RARE UNITY TO FIGHT ZIONISTS: Both Satmar Rebbes To Attend Massive Anti-Draft Protest In Manhattan


Tens of thousands of Chasidic Jews are expected to gather on Sunday outside the Israeli Consulate on Second Avenue in Manhattan to protest the Israeli government’s plan to draft yeshiva students into the army. The event will mark a rare show of unity between the rival Satmar factions led by brothers Reb Aharon Teitelbaum, the Satmar Rebbe of Kiryas Joel and the Satmar Rebbe of Williamsburg, Reb Zalman Leib Teitelbaum.

The rally comes just weeks after a anti-draft gathering in Lakewood, New Jersey, led by prominent roshei yeshiva, and attended by a few thousand people.

Read more https://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/israel-news/2460039/rare-unity-to-fight-zionists-both-satmar-rebbes-to-attend-massive-anti-draft-protest-in-manhattan.html

16 October 2025

Two Sides of What You Are Witnessing


Do Not be confused

Keep your Bitachon straight ahead

Strengthen your Emunah

YES!

We are living in exciting times

The two links below are two dichotomous perspectives


But it should not confuse you if you realize there is 

Yerushalayim 

למעלה וירושלים למטה


But only ONE ABOVE

HKB”H

Who directs everything that exists


The Vilna Gaon Revolutionizes Simchas Torah......October 7
vs. Spoiling the Euphoria


footnote:

"due to our many sins, many sparks of holiness were embedded within the klipos, and conversely, many eirev rav were submerged within the forces of holiness........as [the Sages] said in the Holy Book of TIkkunei HaZohar. Thus, bad is intermingled with good, and good with bad..."

The Holy Or Hachaim, Sefer Bereishis, 

Parashas Bereishis p 75, Artscroll ed.

The Prophetic Fulfillment of Trump & Netanyahu Mentioning "Avraham" on Hoshana Rabba

 

Bereishis: The Seemingly Unusual Placement of the Tipcha That Makes Death "GOOD"

 

The Life Story of The Ribnitzer Rebbe: Told Over By Singer Mordechai Ben David MBD - Rabbi Yoel Gold

Amazing Kedusha 

Vayimaen (וימאן) - Opening Our Spiritual Eyes

 

R' Berel Wein zt"l tells a story of the Chofetz Chaim (9 mos ago)

R' Berel Wein tells story heard from his father in law, Rabbi Lazer Levin, who was witness to Chofetz Chaim in Europe admonishing talmid for his neglect in concern for community needs.
 

Dubai Flooded .....

Dubai Shocked! Incredible Flooding in the UAE

 

 Desert Rain: How a Natural Disaster Changed the Face of the UAE in a Single Day. October 12, 2025. What began as a rare rainfall turned into a flood. Torrential rains lashed Dubai, Ras Al Khaimah, Fujairah, and other parts of the UAE, inundating streets, turning roads into rivers, and creating waterfalls in the mountains.

What else was happening on October 12? (day of or day before Hoshanah Rabba?)

Featured Guest Post on Creation of our World – Parashas Bereishis

 the parsha of Bereishis always fascinated me, so I find this perspective very interesting.


… Rav Yehudah Petiyah introduced a completely different set of events in his book, Minchat Yehudah, which allowed me to drop the Big Bang theory…” (myrtlerising)

Excerpt:

 The Me'am Lo'ez states an opinion that nothing else was created at this time except the Angel of Death, and that he was in the Tehom.

So the entire Universe of the Tehom was dark, wet, and scary. […]

And this pool encompassed such vastness, it reached all the way up to the Kisei HaKavod (Throne of Glory), which is the Ruach Elokim (Spirit of God) mentioned in Genesis 1:2.

Only the darkness separated between them. (Rav Petiyah brings proof from Tehillim 18:12 — "He made darkness His hiding-place about Him as His booth; the darkness of waters, thick clouds of the skies.")

We Begin Parashas Bereishis……

The Inauguration of "Semuchim M'yad" - Connecting Bereishis To the End of V'zos Haberacha

 

 The Joy of Starting Bereishis 

 

15 October 2025

Is the U.S. Eastern Coast Sinking?

SEE BELOW FOR BROCHOS ON SEAS AND OCEANS
Maryland Today! Giant Flooding Swept Away Homes, Cars In Ocean City, 
Also Flooding in Boston Coastal Areas 
 

The mention of "climate change' so many times in this video, might cause suspect that some of this could be due to "weather modification", 'climactic phenomenon', 'urbanization',

Spain and the Phillipines are also experiencing flooding. This also brings to mind the moving of coastal residences inward and into creatively designed 'mini-cities.


Could the water flooding effects relate to 'mikveh' as in purifying the adama from the blood soaked lands of the Shoah? Or neged avoda zorah?

Here is food for thought. (google ai)

The idea that the seas and rain do the bidding of "Hashem" is a core tenet of Jewish faith, reflecting the belief that the natural world is divinely controlled. This view is supported by religious texts that describe Hashem sending rain to bless or punish, and that the seas were created by God. In this spiritual framework, natural phenomena like rain and seas are not random but are part of a system where the divine intervenes in the natural world. 


Divine control over nature: Jewish tradition holds that Hashem is the creator and controller of the universe, including natural elements like the seas and rain.

Blessings and curses: The control of rain is seen as a tool for Hashem to grant blessings or send punishments. For example, a lack of rain can be seen as a punishment, while abundant rain is a blessing.

Examples in religious texts:

In the Tanach (Hebrew Bible), Hashem sent the Mabul (the Great Flood) as a form of punishment, which was brought about by "rains that were a curse, not a blessing".

Conversely, the prayer for rain is a plea for a blessing, acknowledging that Hashem is the one who provides it.

Connection to human conduct: This belief system establishes a connection between human actions and the natural world. The idea is that "our actions impact the entire planet," and that Hashem's control over natural events is tied to the spiritual and moral conduct of people

BROCHOS ON SEAS AND OCEANS

Please visit: Sefaria

Also an interesting article: JPOST

Oh, My, a Sad Love Story.......

 

Mayim Achronim: Ushpizin & Anti-Ushpizin


Over the course of Sukkot, we are graced with the spiritual presence of the “Seven Shepherds of Israel”: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Aaron, Joseph, and David. These Heavenly guests are commonly known as the ushpizin. Interestingly, the root ushpiz or  oshpiz, “guest”, actually comes from the Latin hospis, as in the English “hospitality”! What is the origin of the notion of Seven Shepherds? Where did the practice of inviting the ushpizin come from? And who are the mysterious “anti-ushpizin” that oppose the Seven Shepherds?


Origins of Ushpizin 


Micah Extorting the Israelites to Repentance’, by Gustave Doré


The idea of Seven Shepherds of Israel comes from the Tanakh, from the prophet Micah. The fifth chapter of his book begins by telling us that an ancient soul of Judah, mikedem mimei olam, will emerge out of Bethlehem of Efrat to be moshel b’Israel, a ruler of Israel. 


The next verse tells us it will come at a time of great desperation for Israel, following a series of “birth pangs”. This leader will be righteous, and serve in the name of G–D. 

We might think this is referring to Mashiach, but the chapter continues to warn that Assyria will invade and drive Israel into exile. It’s quite clear that Micah is speaking about the near future, and the Judean leader he envisions is the righteous Hezekiah, who drove away the Assyrian invasion and miraculously saved Jerusalem. Indeed, the Talmud (Sanhedrin 98b) records an opinion that all of the Messianic prophecies of the Tanakh were referring to Hezekiah!

Nonetheless, this chapter of Micah is seen as a “double-level” (or “dual-fulfilment”) prophecy, one that spoke of the near future in Micah’s own days, and also cryptically referred to a future time at the End of Days. This is how Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai read it, for instance, and saw “Assyria” here as secretly referring to Persia at the End of Days, who will invade Israel in the final apocalyptic war (Eichah Rabbah 1:41). 

Whatever the case, Micah 5:4 says that G–D will raise up “seven shepherds and eight princes of men” against the invaders. Again, the Midrash (Bamidbar Rabbah 14:1) wonders if this means there will be seven or eight messianic figures in the End of Days, and concludes that there will actually be four:

There is a great debate with regards to how many messiahs there will be. Some say there will be seven, as it is said “then shall we raise against him seven shepherds…” (Micah 5:4) And some say there will be eight, as it is said, “and eight princes of men.” And it is neither of these, but actually four, as it is said, “And the Lord showed me four craftsmen…” (Zechariah 2:3)

And David came to explain who these four craftsmen are [Psalms 60:9 and 108:9, where G–D declares: “Gilead is mine, Menashe is mine; Ephraim also is the defence of my head; Judah is my sceptre”]: “Gilead is mine” refers to Elijah, who is from the land of Gilead; “Menashe is mine” refers to the messiah who comes from the tribe of Menashe… “Ephraim is the defence of my head” refers to the Warrior Messiah who comes from Ephraim… “Judah is my sceptre” refers to the Great Redeemer, who is a descendant of David.

That said, the seven shepherds must refer to other figures. The Talmud (Sukkah 52b) explains: “Who are these seven shepherds? David is in the middle; Adam, Seth, and Methuselah are to his right; Abraham, Jacob, and Moses are to his left. And who are the eight princes among men? They are Yishai, Saul, Samuel, Amos, Zephaniah, Zedekiah, Mashiach, and Elijah.” 

The Sages seem to suggest that alongside Mashiach and Eliyahu, the souls of thirteen other great figures of the past come back to help them. Glaringly missing from the list of seven shepherds is Isaac. Why is he the only one of the Forefathers not included? Any why include Seth? Are there not greater figures of that era, like Noah and Enoch?

Some would explain Isaac’s omission from the shepherds by pointing out that, well, Isaac wasn’t really a shepherd! The Torah describes him digging wells and irrigating farms, his blessed crop producing me’ah she’arim, hundred-fold yields. 

A deeper explanation is given by the Arizal, who says that Itzhak (יצחק) is an anagram of ketz chai (קץ חי), “lives at the End”, as he will come back at the End of Days in the form of Mashiach ben Yosef, the “Warrior Messiah” mentioned above. The name Itzhak  itself is in the future tense, meaning “he will laugh”—in the future when he is victorious in battle. 

The Arizal even proves it mathematically, as the value of Itzhak (יצחק) is 208, equal to Ben Yosef (בן יוסף)! (See Sha’ar haPesukim on Lech Lecha, for instance, and also the Ba’al haTurim on Deuteronomy 7:21.)

Noah was not a shepherd either, but a farmer. Enoch was a scribe and scholar, and transformed into an angel. That leaves Adam, Seth, and the longest-living Methuselah to represent the pre-Flood generations. Aaron was not a shepherd in Egypt, and served as high priest after the Exodus. Joseph was a shepherd-in-training in his teens, but did not return to that profession in Egypt. Instead, he oversaw all of Egypt’s farming operations and granaries. That leaves us with David, Abraham, Jacob, and Moses.

The lower 7 Sefirot correspond to the 7 Shepherds of Israel

The Zohar (III, 103b) comes in and tells us that holy figures of the past visit us on Sukkot, and this is the source for ushpizin. However, the Zohar only states “Abraham and five other tzadikim”, followed by another opinion that it’s “Abraham and five other tzadikim, plus David”. The Zohar doesn’t say who those five others are directly, but does quote Isaac and Jacob speaking. The whole passage itself comes from the mouth of Ra’aya Mehemna, the “Faithful Shepherd”, who is Moses. Right before this, Aaron is mentioned, for it was in his merit that the Clouds of Glory—which the sukkah is likened to—appeared in the Wilderness. The only one missing is Joseph. 

However, the Zohar always parallels such things to the Sefirot, and the six righteous figures are meant to correspond to the six Sefirot of Zeir Anpin, from Chessed to Yesod. The figure that always stands in for Yesod is Yosef haTzadik. David, meanwhile, is always paralleled to the seventh Sefirah of Malkhut. In this way, we find our Seven Shepherds, as we know them, in the Zohar.

The Anti-Ushpizin

Elsewhere, the Zohar (Sitrei Otiyot on Beresheet) says that the world endures in the merit of these Seven Shepherds of Israel. Opposing them are seven shepherds that stem from the “Left Side” or “Other Side”, the Sitra Achra. 

They seek to shepherd Israel away from G–D and towards idolatry. This is the meaning behind Jeremiah 15:9 which reads “She who bore seven is forlorn, utterly disconsolate; her sun has set while it is still day, she is shamed and humiliated. The remnant of them I will deliver to the sword, to the power of their enemies—declares G–D.” 

The Zohar lists the “anti-ushpizin”: Jeroboam, Ba’asha, Ahab, Yehu, Pekah, Menachem ben Gaddi, and Hoshea ben Elah. Who are these people?

Recall that Yerovam ben Nevat, “Jeroboam”, was the first king of the northern Kingdom of Israel after the split following King Solomon’s reign. Afraid to lose his throne and grip on power, he set up roadblocks so that his Israelites wouldn’t go to Jerusalem for the pilgrimage festivals. Instead, he built two idolatrous temples with golden calves. For this, the Sages say he has no share in the World to Come (Sanhedrin 10:2).

Ba’asha ben Achiya was the third king of Israel. He spent his reign at war with the Kingdom of Judah, and even allied with Aram at one point. He continued the wicked ways of Jeroboam, so G–D declared he would obliterate Ba’asha just as he did Jeroboam (I Kings 16:3). King Ahab is well-known, being the husband of the wicked idolatrous Queen Jezebel, and the tormenter of Eliyahu. 

His dynasty was destroyed by Yehu ben Nimshi, originally a military general. Yehu was used as an instrument by G–D to carry out Ahab’s punishment. However, Yehu went a step too far and bloodily massacred countless people in the Valley of Jezreel. Although G–D initially rewarded him with a multi-generational dynasty, He did declare that He would eliminate Yehu’s dynasty for the cruelty at Jezreel (Hosea 1:4). 

Amazingly, we have archaeological evidence clearly confirming Yehu and his story, from the Assyrian Black Obelisk.

King Yehu of Israel giving tribute to King Shalmaneser III of Assyria, on the Black Obelisk of Shalmaneser III from Nimrud (circa 827 BC), currently in the British Museum.

Menachem ben Gaddi was another such general-turned-king. We know little about him. So was Pekah ben Remalyahu. He allied with King Rezin of Aram to attack Jerusalem. The Judeans were terrified, and it was in the context of this that Isaiah relayed his famous prophecy about the miraculous birth of a saviour child (Isaiah 7). Although it is abundantly clear that the passage is speaking about Hezekiah—who did go on to save Judea and Jerusalem as a young, righteous ruler—C.....ians infamously interpreted the prophecy to refer to the birth of J…. (reading the word almah, a “young lady”, as “virgin”). Their argument that this, too, is a “double-level” or “dual-fulfilment” prophecy speaking about both contemporary times and future times cannot be the case. 

A double-level prophecy must not give a specific time, in order to allow interpretation for the present and the future. This prophecy clearly states the events are supposed to happen “in 65 years” (Isaiah 7:9). A specific time is given, leaving no ambiguity. The Tanakh continues to relay how the prophecy was fulfilled.

Pekah was assassinated by Hoshea ben Elah. The Assyrian King Tiglath-Pileser III then appointed Hoshea as the new (and final) king of Israel. An Assyrian inscription confirms this, too, stating that the Israelites rebelled and “overthrew their king Pekah and I placed Hoshea as king over them. I received from them 10 talents of gold, 1,000 talents of silver as their [tri]bute and brought them to Assyria.” Hoshea didn’t last long. One of Tiglath-Pileser’s successors soon destroyed the northern Kingdom of Israel and exiled the tribes.

The souls of these seven idolatrous kings stand in opposition to the souls of the holy Seven Shepherds. We find that the Seven Shepherds of Israel were all about unity, bringing people together to serve G–D and inspire righteousness. The anti-shepherds, meanwhile, were power-hungry and vindictive, instigators of division and civil war, propagators of idolatry, and collaborators with Israel’s enemies. 

On Sukkot, we welcome in the spirit of the righteous ones as we bring people together in our huts. And we hope to expel the spirit of idolatry and divisiveness, of the wickedness stemming from “the Left Side”. This is all the more important to keep in mind and meditate on as we see what is happening all around us today in the Holy Land and the world at large.

Chag sameach!

Rabbi Weissman: Spoiling the Euphoria

 Spoiling the Euphoria

Sobering facts the celebrating masses need to contend with
In January the Erev Rav let loose over 1000 terrorists in exchange for 33 hostages (a Freemason favorite).
The “right wing” and “religious Zionists” protested.

Earlier this week the Erev Rav let loose over 2000 terrorists and promised other perks as well in exchange for 20 living hostages — that’s twice as many terrorists for fewer hostages.

The “right wing” and “religious Zionists” celebrated wildly:




We should not be surprised that people who hijacked Judaism to make a religion out of serving the state would make a holy shrine out of the site of an idolatrous music festival, where lost Jewish souls danced around a Buddhist idol on one of the holiest days of the year, when we dance around the Torah. No, we should not be surprised, but we should call them out for it.

They also proclaimed a definitive and complete victory:

If the January deal was an outrageous surrender that cheapened Jewish blood and endangered us all, how is the second deal, which was far more lopsided, a biblical victory? Ask your local brainwashed Zionist schmuck to explain the math to you and share the response.

They will try to spin it on the spot before they get angry and run away, but the truth is that they never actually thought about it. They don’t really think at all. They are conditioned how to react, and they obediently follow suit.

There are three reasons why they are celebrating this surrender deal while they protested the previous deal:

1. The media and the controlled influencers told them to celebrate, in lockstep, and modeled it for them. The brainwashed masses are a bunch of monkeys following their lead. This is the main reason.

2. This surrender deal was sold to them by their lord and savior, Donald Trump, who probably can’t stop laughing at how stupid people are.

3. They are exhausted and defeated, just want it to be over, and will grasp at any excuse to feel good about being defeated.

We are surrounded by utterly stupid and insane people, who have strayed very far from the Torah even if they maintain exterior religious trappings. I can’t see how this turns out well for them.

Interestingly, Egypt still claims they won the Yom Kippur War, while Israelis view it as a catastrophe.

Here’s one article from the Jerusalem Post:

In Egypt, the October or Ramadan War, as it is known, is commemorated each year by military parades, public speeches, concerts, sporting events, and trips to the Cairo museum glorifying the war.

In Israel, it is marked by somber music, war memorials, and endless discussion about the failure of Israel’s intelligence, its political leaders, and the military – in short, a colossal collapse…

…Then why do Israelis still see the Yom Kippur War as a heavy loss? Simple; because of the casualties.

And the casualties were indeed heavy. During 18 days of fighting, Israel lost 2,688 soldiers (.08% of the population at the time). In comparison, during the six days of fighting in the 1967 war, Israel lost 773 soldiers (.03% of the population). And in 100 hours of fighting in the 1956 Sinai campaign, 231 soldiers fell (.01% of the population).

But Gaza was a victory. A definitive and complete victory!

Fun fact: The Erev Rav leadership, in cahoots with America, knowingly and intentionally allowed Egypt to strike first and slaughter lots of Jewish soldiers. For the greater good, of course.

That’s crazy! They would never do that! Where’s the evidence???

They admitted it. For one example, this comes from the official Memorandum of Conversation in which President Nixon said the following to Golda Meir:

When this war started, there were some here who charged that we kept you from a pre-emptive strike. As you know, you volunteered that. The reason was that you did not want to be seen as the provocateur.

Here’s another article about it, and you can find more on your own.

Others claim that Henry Kissinger brokered an agreement between Israel and Egypt to allow Egypt an early victory. This would restore their honor after their humiliating defeat in 1967, and thereby pave the way for a “peace deal” (see here). Well worth sacrificing some IDF cannon fodder.

Despite all this, the dubious invasion and slaughter of Jews that started the Yom Kippur War, like the dubious invasion and slaughter of Jews on October 7, is still widely and officially referred to as an “intelligence failure”.

There is nothing new under the sun.

The sports world was thrown into turmoil Monday night, as the Kansas City Chiefs declared definitive and complete victory over the Philadelphia Eagles in last season’s Super Bowl. Although the final score was 40-22 in favor of the Eagles, who seemed to dominate the contest from start to finish, the Chiefs have disregarded the numbers and are planning a victory parade.

The team’s announcement has led to surprise, scorn, and outrage across the league, but Chiefs fans are partying and taunting Eagles fans with unrestrained joy.

“Everyone knows that statistics can be manipulated,” explained one fan on social media. “But we won, and it wasn’t even close!”

In an official press release, Chiefs officials argued that sometimes you need to make painful concessions along the way — in this case 40 points — in order to achieve victory.

Following this announcement, the Buffalo Bills announced that they won four straight Super Bowls between 1991 and 1994, and are one of the greatest dynasties in the history of sports.

The New York Mets have also announced that they won this year’s World Series, which has not yet begun, despite failing to make the playoffs. Other teams are expected to make similar announcements in the coming days.

The trend is quickly spreading. One man has reportedly sued for the right to participate in the World Chess Championship after defeating world champion Gukesh Dommaraju at a chance match in a public park, despite being checkmated in six moves.

Some have expressed concern that if this trend continues it will no longer be possible to determine who wins or loses sporting events, wars, elections, or even simple bets, throwing the entire world into confusion and chaos. However, the Kansas City Chiefs insist we are entering a brave new world order, and concluded their statement with an inspiring message:

“A great philosopher said, ‘I think, therefore I am.’ We think we won, therefore we won.”


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Rabbi Wein: Bereshith

  Bereishith All  of the problems of humankind and life itself are revealed to us in this opening parsha of the Torah. Desire, greed, violen...